Wizard Battle: Wrath (Saving Private Gorillas) [9/10]

A

Aura

Guest

Welcome to Wizard Battle. You play as a wizard who can do anything. Literally. Let yourself soar through the skies, bring someone back down to terra-firma, painfully. Give a wizard a present. Turn the said present into a bomb. I'm sure you get the idea.

Rules

But just because you CAN do anything, doesn't mean that you SHOULD. Each turn a die is rolled for your wizard, which can alter the effects of what they do.

  1. Epic Failure. The opposite of your action happens. (This will always be unfavorable for the receiving wizard, regardless of the original action.)
  2. Failure. Your action fails completely. Bad things often happen in coincidence with this roll.
  3. Success? The action goes off... but perhaps not the way you intended.
  4. Success! The action goes off as you intended.
  5. Masterful. The action goes off, and it's somewhat improved.
  6. Epic Win! Your action is preformed in such fashion that something amazing also happens.

There are ways of getting figures other than these six, but nobody really knows too much about them.
Whether you conjure a light snack or create an entire planet, the chances of success are the same, however the bigger and more potent the original action, the bigger and more potent the backfire could be.
You can edit your posts to respond to other wizard's actions, but their actions are their own. Do not attempt to control others' actions.

Please avoid unbreakable items and insta-kill spells as they aren't fun for anyone.
Keep game posts to this thread, there is a separate thread for discussion here (or anything else related, but this thread should only be actions and updates.) Finally, while there is not going to be a hard cap on action amounts, but try and keep them reasonably sized. In a long post, it may be ideal to emphasize actions, especially if you feel they could be easily missed.

Updates are on Sundays GMT, I'll try and gather in all actions, but be warned posts or edits made on the Sunday before update time are liable to be overlooked.

The Goal

The goal is to kill the other wizards of course. You get 100 hitpoints to start with but don't worry too much if you do get killed, as you can respawn. Your first roll after a (re)spawn is always a 4.

The scoring is kept in a Kills to Death ratio.

Joining

To join, simply post your first action(s), it's that simple. But I'd recommend at least giving your wizard a name, and a description. You can certainly draw a picture of your wizard if you are the artistic type.

If you wish to contribute, but not join fully, you can also give wizards in the game Magical Items simply by posting as well.

Current Wizards:

  • Sean (Mercerenies)
  • Inspector John Bucketface (roytheshort)
  • Fred (Lukasmah)
  • ??? (Yokcos)
  • Nymiria (Laura)
  • Rheas (MikeDark_x)
  • The Darksmith (Adrien Dittrick)
  • ULTIMECIA ULTIMECIA (Cantavanda)
  • Grontar (Wraithious)
 
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Mercerenies

Member
(I believe that in the other iterations, the moderator would provide some universe for the players to start off in, but I can work with this :p)

As Sean barreled through reality at high speed on yet another hijacked passenger train, something happened that hadn't happened before. The engineer wrestled control of the train back. Sean was thrown off the train and fell out of space into an empty abyss, filled with nothing, not even empty metaspace. Disappointed with the lack of space or existence, Sean created a universe around him and a large red planet for the future inhabitants of this universe to live on. Sean himself settled onto this red planet and decided to name it. Given its bright red coloration, he decided it should be named after the classical era god of war... Ares! Yup, that's definitely the name of this red planet now. Sean created a large cave system and hid away in it, waiting for others to fall into his universe.
 

roytheshort

The Village Idiot
Neapparatus appears! That would be the name for this magical clockwork machine, who knows why it was made. They have a wooden frame and click as they move, each step produces another click. A small red crystal exists within its chest, powering the rest of its body. A gear filled metallic processor is hidden within its skull. Neapparatus has caused the death of many universes, while sending the inhabitants others into eternal agony.

It collapses from outside the Universe to within, and it immediately notices a large cave system. Neapparatus decides it makes sense to create their base here. The clicks and whirs can be heard echoing off pretty much anything, this nightmarish machine conjures a gargantuan wooden box screeching and howling into the...

Then all of a sudden a policeman in a police car crashes through the ceiling of the cave and destroys it all, the machine and everything falls apart. He doesn't really notice and builds a baton police station in the middle of the cave. Much the same as he's done in other Universes. He notes this is Universe WB:W and creates a kettle, which creates tea, which he drinks.
 

Lukasmah

Member
Wh... What just happened? A new universe was created? That's... Interesting.

It appears to be one of those empty ones. It may not be a good universe to explore, but that doesn't matter. It's like an empty canvas, just waiting for Fred to paint it. Endless possibilities. It's great.

But first things first. Fred summons his trusty pets: Brutus, Spartacus, Butcher and Fang, this time in the form of pixies. Why pixies? Because why not.

Fred notices one of the other wizards has created a universe within this universe, but he's having none of that. He uses THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE UNIVERSE to cut reality itself, making the inner universe slowly leak into the outer universe, effectively merging them.

Well, the canvas is not so empty anymore, but that doesn't mean he can't do his own thing...

He creates a massive space rock which orbits the red planet. He names it... Timor. It's just the right place to build his new home.

He creates a small clay hut with a roof made of straw. Perfect.
 
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G

Guest User

Guest
It's a void.

Darkness.
Silence.
Empty.
Null.
Bare.
Nothing.

Free.

And out of that void; the blank canvas; the free flowing forces of the universe mingle at a solitary point and bring into being a new entity.

It is called Ki.

Pulsing with light, this new entity, Ki, is introduced into the void world. He doesn't remember anything, he just knows that he is in a void, and that he is not bound by any rules; no limits.
He creates an expansive environment covered with all sorts of strange plants, seas, beaches, plains, mountains, caves; he likes what he has made. This will be his home. He calls it Tsuchi.

He notices that other entities have already created their own worlds. Ki is willing to share his universe with them as long as they do not encroach on his new territory.
 

Yokcos

Member
A nameless wizard appears!

This wizard wields the power of a universe, omnipotent but for the roll of a die. Even those with magic at their command need weapons though. The wizard rummages through his mind, sifting through all the weapons he has encountered and known throughout his life thus far to find one that will adequately annihilate his adversaries.

He remembers something he saw once long ago and knows that this will truly be the tool of an emperor. The means to domination of the world. He immediately begins conjuring it, knowing that when the ceremony is complete all will fall before him.

The conjuring process is long and hard, but he is experienced in summoning armaments from thought. Each step in the process more taxing than the last. Clear your mind, ancient textbooks had informed him long ago, Picture each detail of your target, it would continue, Draw the rune shown in fig.700 in oil was a tricky one. Leave the noodles in the water for three minutes, stirring occasionally gave him some time to be pestered by the narrator. ">Enter Name" ">Enter Name" ">Enter Name" the narrator says, as though the wizard needs a name. Night has enveloped the land when his legendary weapon is done.

The Wizard creates The Butter Knife!
 
L

Laura

Guest
A dark purple distortion appeared over a hill. It expanded until lighting was flickering throughout it, and and dirt and grass starting to be pulled through it. And suddenly, just as it appeared, it had gone.

A woman lay face down on the hill where the distortion once was. Slowly, she moved to get into a standing position, checking her body for any damage. Nymiria had been through quite a lot, but this was something quite new indeed.

Suddenly, a sharp pain swept through her head. Towers. She tried to remember where she was last, but unfortunately her mind was blank. Nym wished there was someone around her that could help. Just like that, a tracker appeared in her hand.

Wait, what? How-?, before she looked at the tracker itself. It had a name on it.

John T Bucketface
 

MikeDark_x

Member
From a gap in space and time a relatively young looking man riding a wyvern appears and then the gap closes

"Really, pulling me from my own universe just for that... well whatever, it ended right?... I should be in the dimension I came from right?... yet... I don't feel a change in my power... not just that but..."

Rheas stares around and finds nothing

"It's really dark, I mean there isn't even a light source here... no, not just that, the floor... there isn't a floor!!"

And noticing this he creates a relatively small star around 92,955,807 miles away just so it serves as a sun here

"Yep, now I can see... it's still empty thought... and there's still no land to build my workshop..."

So he creates a planet, the earth color is mainly red, but it has water, he also makes a few forests and gives it everything necessary to maintain life in it, he also creates animals and stuff because the planet is too empty

"Now... the workshop... where should I place it..."
 
Five craters erupt from the earth.
Lava emerges from them.
Then all the craters get linked with blazing fissures in the shape of a pentagram.


At the center of it all, emerges The Darksmith. He is a pale individual, dressed not unlike a vampire, and has joined this new universe in the hope of finding exceptionnal materials with which he can forge the best weapons. Weapons made for killing. Weapon made for war.

The Darksmith doesn't have a weapon yet, however. And he looks around him, confused.

"Hello?" He says. "Is anyone around?"

In the distance, he can see 5 angry burnt individuals standing up.

It seems that Sean, Inspector John Bucketface, Fred, Ki and Nymiria were each standing over one of the craters when they all erupted.

The Darksmith turns towards each one of them and then yells "Hello there, pleasant fellows :D"
 
A

Aura

Guest
Update 1 - September 4

This is the first time I am writing a Wizard Battle update, so I'm pretty excited. (And pretty thrilled to have Adrien appear all of a sudden...)

Sean

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: Staff of Creation

You rolled a 4.

Having been thrown into an empty abyss and disappointed due to the lack of existence, you create the universe and a red planet for magical inhabitants to live on that you later name Ares. To avoid direct exposure to rest of the beings, you create a cave system to hide in and wait for others to fall into the planet. Your good will to provide a shelter to others pleases the Heavenly Powers and you're granted the Staff of Creation which would allow you to alter the universe as you see fit.

Inspector John Bucketface

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: <empty>

You rolled a 4.

A clockwork machine called Neapparatus appears and falls into Ares. With a desire to set up a base, it enters the caves. But you break into the caves through the ceiling and the machine is shattered apart. You place a police station and wait for others. In the meanwhile, you attempt to create a river next to the caves to make transportation easier and to pet fish.

Fred

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: Sharpest Knife

You rolled a 4.

You're astonished by the sudden creation of the universe. You summon your trusty pets: Brutus, Spartacus, Butcher and Fang in the form of pixies. Using the sharpest knife, you merge the outer universe with the inner universe. You create a rock that would orbit Ares and name it Timor. You call it your home. You create a clay hut with a roof made of straw and begin to observe Ares.

Ki

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: <empty>

You rolled a 4.

You appear, see and create a new planet in the universe, calling it Tsuchi. You fill it with all sorts of bizzare creatures to avoid being visited by your enemies. The land appears very lonely until you spot another planet, completely red. You become aware of the fact that you're not alone. While roaming around, you notice a pigeon that invites you to leave the strange lands and join rest of the entities in Ares.

???

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: Butter Knife

You rolled a 4.

After appearing out of the blue in a strange universe, you plan to possess weapon. You're being forced to name yourself by the Heavenly Powers. Annoyed with the constant fits of temper of the Heavenly Powers, still steadily, you create the Buffer Knife -- unknown to every creature. You fall onto a stalactitle of the caves. You catch everybody's attetion and to avoid being looked at suspiciously, you join them.

Nymiria

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: John T Bucketface Tracker

You rolled a 4.

You appear with style but you're a bit confused because you can't grasp what you are doing on the top of a hill. You wish you weren't so lonely. Suddenly a tracker labelled John T Bucketface fades in into your hands. It acts as a memorabilia and everything is explicit now. The gold mist that surrounds your past is gone and you happen to realise that you were a part of the Allied Forces. With pain and agony, you shriek. You're relieved when two mercenaries of the Allied Forces join you. You move towards the caves.

Rheas

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: Light Capsule

You rolled a 4.

You're astonished as you're pulled into an unknown space, completely dark. You can't see anything but you realise that you're as powerful as you were in the past. You create a small star that lights up the universe. The Heavenly Powers are delighted by your virtue of spreading light and you're granted the Light Capsule that would allow you to control light in every possible way. You try to create a red planet but you suddenly fall into Ares. Having found Ares, you give up your plans to create a new planet and move towards the caves a few steps away. You are amazed when you see your wyvern there.

The Darksmith

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: <empty>

You rolled a 4.

You appear suddenly and (almost) everybody is thrilled. You spot 5 burnt individuals nearby. But when you get near, you happen to know that you're illusioned. Lava emerges beneath your feet but the river nearby forces the lava to cool down and harden. Luckily you're at the top of the tallest mountain of Ares now and try to roll down to meet your fellow creatures.

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The Darksmith approaches this intriguing creature wielding a very interesting weapon.

"Excuse me, sir, what manners of a weapon is this you're holding?"

The butter knife seems like an amazing concept for a weapon.

The Darksmith attempts to steal the butter knife during the conversation and run away with it by swimming into lava.
 

Yokcos

Member
(Attempted) theft? This is unacceptable! For this transgression, there shall be no mercy but one. Your death shall be swift and painful, inevitable. Your example will serve as a deterrent; none shall trifle with me again. My penultimate attack is impossible to dodge or block by those who are paralysed, and guarantees an instant kill against anyone it instantly kills. It has never missed. I have been charging it for weeks, looking for the right target to unleash it upon. 99.99% charged. Almost there.

It's ready. Prepare to die.

The Wizard Who Lacks A Name slaps The Darksmith in the torso with an ordinary teaspoon.
 

MikeDark_x

Member
(I forgot mentioning I am carrying a few items created in the previous universe, well I'm carrying them in a really handy item... the storage bracelet, a magical ring that allows me to store 8 kinds of items and up to 99 items of each kind, within, I have a bunch of different types of spellcards (they all are considered a kind, I have no control over how they come out but they all are damage type magic, like 96 left) and a bow and special arrows meant to be some sort of piercing magic weapon by imbuing the arrows with magic... not like I need them thought, just that the Storage Bracelet would come in handy when handling magic items)

"Ah, well it seems I have more stuff than I thought I'd have, and well this cave will be good for the wyvern... now the Workshop"

And so he builds his workshop, using the same method of super compressed mana for each brick, binding them with each other with more super compressed mana
he then, gives it a deceiving look of a rustic building.

"That will do... anyways I feel other wizards I guess they should be near here... hmm even thought I can feel their presence it's no good huh? not enough precision... hmm... what could I do... there's the method that would use magic to get an approximate location by calculating the distance between the particles that separate from their magic core and two points... that would work but I'd need more than two points... and I'd need them placed somewhere where they can catch everyone's... let's see... space? sure enough would work... in theory I could make a few magic spheres to orbit the sky and have them collect information about everyone's whereabouts... I can perceive the auras of wizards that aren't from the previous one too... oh well... if I know their exact location I'll be able to react if they do anything crazy, let us make them"

And so, Rheas created 42 orbs and using magic while he placed them in different orbits around the planet, he ensured that they will never crash with each other, and besides the ability to get the exact location of the wizards in this universe, he also granted them the ability to send images of the exact location of the other wizards if he wishes so.

"That will do, let's see... huh? a fight this early? oh but it seems the fight is for that... what a fine weapon, almost on par with that knife that wizard wielded... but not as sharp, well speaking of items, what can I do with this capsule? it seems to be some sort of a sacred treasure... I think I could make it a base and turn it into some sort of bracelet"
 
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Mercerenies

Member
Pleased with the universe's gift, Sean uses the STAFF OF CREATION. Using the Staff to augment his normal creation powers, he creates Professor Sean, a Sean so entrenched in his research that he won't obey any instructions given to him by Sean or anyone else. If, however, his research is ever interrupted, he will use all of his power to unleash a righteous fury on the guilty party. Professor Sean opens a textbook and starts reading. Sean then tries to reach out to Mr. Train, unsuccessfully since Mr. Train died in the other universe. To try to find Mr. Train, Sean creates a portal to the DIMENSION DIMENSION, the dimension where all other dimensions are stored, including itself. Anything could come out of this portal. He also opens a portal to the PARADOX DIMENSION, where everything is both true and false at the same time, and the BANANA DIMENSION, where everything is a banana. The Banana Dimension portal starts converting everything around it into a banana, in an attempt to spread the glory of the Great Banana. Sean flees the scene, avoiding the banana apocalypse for now. He warns Professor Sean about the impending danger, but Professor Sean does not listen.
 

Lukasmah

Member
The universe is dangerous, so Fred creates what might be the most advanced defence system in existence... A giant slingshot, about as tall as him if not more, and some rocks to launch from it.
 
A

Aura

Guest
Update 2 - September 13

The update is a bit delayed and short this time because two wizards didn't post their actions and one of the wizards decided to step out and discontinue playing the game.

Sean

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: Staff of Creation

You rolled a 4.

You're pleased with the gift granted to you by the Heavenly Powers. You use the Staff of Creation to augment your regular creation powers. You create a disobedient Sean and call it Professor Sean. He would use his powers to the fullest, whenever it is interrupted, to unleash a righteous fury on the guilty party. He opens a textbook and starts reading it. You try to reach Mr. Train, but soon realise that Mr. Train was dead in the previous universe. To try to find Mr. Train, you use your brilliant creation powers to create a portal to the Dimension Dimension that is believed to store all the dimensions, including itself. Afterwards, you open another portal to the Paradox Dimension where everything is true and false at the same time. You open a portal to the Banana Dimension as well where everything is a banana. It starts converting everything close into a banana. You're terrified and rapidly escape. You try to warn Professor Sean about the impending danger but he does not listen. As a result, he is converted into a banana and pulled into the Banana Dimension. The portal closes. You eagerly wait with a desire to save him.

Inspector John Bucketface

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: <empty>

You rolled a 3.

You remain passive and unnoticed at your prior position. But your police station has started to melt slowly due to the heat of The Darksmith's lava craters. You're terrified.

Fred

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: Sharpest Knife

You rolled a 4.

You realise that the universe is dangerous. In order to save yourself, you create the most advanced defense system ever known to wizardry, a Giant Slingshot. You also create a few rocks to launch from it.

Ki

Health: 0 (-100)
Kills: -/-
Inventory: <empty>

You rolled a 4.

You request the Heavenly Powers to let you escape the universe. Your request is heard and you are allowed to leave. You disappear from the Universe and since there's no force to keep your planet stagnant, it is destroyed.

???

Health: 120 (+20)
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: Butter Knife, Staff of Security

You rolled a 5.

You're not amused by the theft of the Butter Knife and slap The Darksmith in the torso with an ordinary teaspoon. You succeed and the theft fails. The Butter Knife falls on the ground and you pick it up quickly. After your first ever success in the universe, you are full of courage and energy. Pleased with the first successful hit, the Heavenly Powers grant you the Staff of Security that you can use to save anybody's items and weapons from stealth.

Nymiria

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: <empty>

You rolled a 3.

You remain hidden and quiet. But you've lost the John T Bucketface Tracter.

Rheas

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: Light Capsule, Storage Bracelet

You rolled a 4.

You build your workshop, using the same method of super compressed mana for each brick, binding them with each other with more super compressed mana. You then give it a deceiving look of a rustic building. You create 42 orbs and using magic while you place them in different orbits around the planet, you ensure that they will never crash with each other, and besides the ability to get the exact location of the wizards in this universe, you also grant them the ability to send images of the exact location of the other wizards. You then make the Light Capsule a base and turn it into some sort of bracelet.

The Darksmith

Health: 80 (-20)
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: <empty>

You rolled a 2.

Your attempt to steal the Butter Knife fails and you fall to the ground.

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Cantavanda

〜Flower Prince〜
I never actually took the time to look at one of these wizard battel topics, but I'm a huge ****ing NERD so here I am, joining the nerd battle.

NAME: ULTIMECIA
ULTIMECIA (in all caps) was once a powerful witch in a whole other universe, far far away, and impossible to be accessed, as she became more powerful, she became more greedy and twisted too. After many years of genocide, and terrorising that universe, she had become the most powerful and beautiful creature in the whole universe. But, evil never lasts, and she was eventually defeated by a group of powerful heroes, and right before her demise, she used all of her power to completely vanish from that universe, and teleport to a random place in the whole multiverse.

Her health: 1 (yes, making it hard on myelf)
Inventory: empty, only some torn clothes.
All of her magic powers are gone, she is completely weakened, with some wounds...
"Where am I"
Then she sees a little wooden sign in the ground "Ares".

Now, she is falling down, and lands on a red planet, she is very harmed from battle, and has lost her powers.
She decides to settle in a cave, sit down, and think.... think a LOT about her actions.
She realises what she has become (a monster), and breaks down crying.
She is still immortal, she can be killed, but she doesn't need food or sleep to survive, and doesn't age.

Yes I know my literary skills suck but at least I write it clearly and easy to understand.
 
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MikeDark_x

Member
Rheas stares dumbfounded at Sean's actions without moving from his workshop thanks to his Orbs.

"Is it just me or this guy has a screw loose or two?" he wonders while staring at the bananaportal.

"Now... I believe we need something to plug that hole before the whole planet is covered with bananas, not that I care... wait is that?!"

From the bananaportal an army of monkeys came out, armed with banana ray guns, those things are serious trouble, anything that gets shot by it is turned into bananas and bananas usually take 500% more damage from monkeys. Of course there's no way he would know that, or anything similar by that matter, but instead his reaction was actually related to something from the Paradox Universe portal.

"Whoa... that's the legendary book... the cabbagemicon... written by the god of cabbages himself... it is said that it contains the secrets of life..."

And seconds later one of the monkeys turns it into a banana with one shot. Making him say "Sean" in a similar way as Timmy's dad says "Dinkleberg".

To counter Sean's action he makes the light capsule warp light so that the grumpy old men can't see him and also makes an illusion of Sean's most loved being in the whole multiverse, and makes a machine that makes unlimited popcorn behind it

"So this is how wizards fight here huh?"
 
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Mercerenies

Member
Sean notices how impressed Rheas is with his actions. Clearly, "screw loose" is a compliment in this universe. Then again, it's possible Rheas came from a universe where "screw loose" actually means "grumpy old man", in which case Sean is insulted. To prove him wrong, Sean spawns one hundred grumpy old men around Rheas, each of whom is armed with a cane and is more than happy to start assaulting Rheas with it. He also places a magic trap in each old man so that whenever the man or the cane is banana-ified, both will instantly explode.
 
T

TheUltimate

Guest
((Just leaving items, I don't have time to join right now))

Somewhere near the Bananaportal, 500 Minions show up, screaming "BANANAAAAA!"

The Minions will only follow the most evil being in the universe... or whoever has the most bananas. They'll find the wizard who does the most damage in a given turn, and help them out for the next turn, giving them a minimum roll of 4 for their first action.
 
W

Wraithious

Guest
Deep in the heart of a star known as a magnatar the iron churned and twisted below a sea of metalic hydrogen, orbiting this monstrocity in the corner of the universe was a miniture black hole not even the size of a small moon, and much further out orbits a pulsar spinning at a rate of 250 milliseconds. Grontar the galactic wizzard had stumbled upon this unique system out of sheer luck and decided to harness it's power. First he created a vacuum vortex urn and drained some of the black hole's infinate gravity, then dipped the urn into the mega magnetic metalic hydrogen and finnaly dosed the mixture with gamma ray bursts from the pulsar and used it's high orbital spin to churn the mixture at a gear ratio equivolent of the pulsar's circumference to the small circumference of the urn and let it mix the star ellements for 10 days, and then extruded the resulting material into a staff which he named 'Staff of the megelantis' . This staff has 3 great elemental strengths, near infinate fire, infinite darkness and near infinite magnetism. His first spell cast him accross universes allmost instantaneously, landing near a cave system on a mostly red planet orbiting a small sun. Here looks like a great place to level up my staff!
 

ParodyKnaveBob

The Laughing Rogue
The Banana of Unconscionable Demise suddenly appears near the densest collection of wizards. It appears to be like any other banana, but being in its presence, one can pretty clearly tell, upon being eaten, it will grant its eater a generous portion of health -- but also, being damaged/removed in any way (including being eaten) will instantly slay every lifeform (except wizards) in the entire universe...

Interestingly enough, this item does not have any marks resembling $:^ J anywhere on it...
 
The Darksmith summons his Pandemonium forge to attempt to make his own butter knife. Of course, it happens that the Pandemonium forge ¨builds itself out of boiling lava so anyone nearby might get burned.
 
A

Aura

Guest
Update 3 - October 9

I'm (...very) late! >.<

Sean

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: Staff of Creation

You rolled a 4.

You notice how Rheas finds your actions interesting. You assume that he was trying to insult you. In order to prove him wrong, you spawn a hundred humpy old men around him. Each one of the humpy old men is armed with a cane, so that they can assault Rheas. You also place a magic trap in each old man, so that whenever the man or his cane is banana-ified, both of them would explode.

Inspector John Bucketface

Health: 0 (-100)
Kills: 0/1
Inventory: <empty>

You rolled a 1.

The Darksmith's lava craters melt you to death. Your soul has started getting petrified.

Fred

Health: 120 ( 20)
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: Sharpest Knife

You rolled a 5.

You don't show off your presence. But in the meanwhile, you plan to launch giant knives at the planet. Your sneaky strategy boosts your health status and energy.

???

Health: 120
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: Butter Knife, Staff of Security

You rolled a 4.

You remain motionless, trying to figure out what to do next. Death of John T. Bucketface terrifies you.

Nymiria

Health: 0 (-100)
Kills: 0/1
Inventory: <empty>

You rolled a 1.

You are not interested in what the universe has to offer you. You remain motionless, before the ravenous creatures around turn you into dust. You're dead. But a talisman has been handed over to Rheas, who can use the same to control your dead body and use you as a minion. As long as your spirit does not destroy the talisman.

Rheas

Health: 200 ( 100)
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: Light Capsule, Storage Bracelet, Nymiria Talisman

You rolled a 5.

You dumbfoundedly notice Sean's actions using your orbs, without moving away from your workshop. You don't admire how he's opened a portal to the Banana Dimension. You want to shut it down. In the meanwhile, a number of monkeys come out of the portal with banana ray guns in their hands, so that they could convert anything into a banana, consequently making it inflict more damage. That does not trouble you anyway. You're more interested in a legendary book written by the god of cabbages. But your happiness does not last long. A monkey turns the book into a banana using its banana ray gun. You call Sean in a dramatic way.

You use your Light Capsule to warp light in order to save yourself from Sean's grumpy old men. You're successful. The old men hit themselves and fall unconcious. You then create an illusion of Sean's most dear thing and a machine that makes unlimited popcorn behind it. You're puzzled when a weird talisman approaches you out of nowhere. It takes you no more than a second to figure out that you could use it to control Nymiria's dead body and use her as your minion. As soon as you touch it, you feel more energetic and healthier.

The Darksmith

Health: 80
Kills: 1/0
Inventory: <empty>

You rolled a 5.

You summon your Pandemonium forge to create your own butter knife. But nothing happens. Soon you realise than your lava craters have melted John T. Bucketface to death. You're thrilled and attempt to summon Pandemonium forge again. You're almost successful this time.

ULTIMECIA ULTIMECIA

Health: 1 (-99)
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: <empty>

You rolled a 4.

As soon as you appear in the universe, a mysterious pull causes you to lose health. You are weakened, powerless. You come across Ares and decide to take rest in the cave system, trying to decide what to do next.

Grontar

Health: 100
Kills: 0/0
Inventory: Staff of Megelantis

You rolled a 4.

After the creation of the Staff of Megelantis, you move towards Ares in order to make it more powerful.

TheUltimate
(Guest entry)

Near the portal to the Banana Dimension, 500 minions show up. They would help the most evil wizard of a turn, with a guaranteed roll of 4 the next turn.

ParodyKnaveBob
(Guest entry)

The Banana of Unconscionable Demise suddenly appears near the densest collection of wizards. It would grant its eater a generous portion of health. But at the same time, it would also slay every lifeform (except wizards) in the universe if moved away or eaten.

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R

rougebare

Guest
((This isn't joining, in case this isn't clear))

Out of nowhere a rather large frigate appears in a body of water. Apparently it was in the middle of a battle, as the ship's cannons unleash a broadside of cannon fire on it's starboard side, and the ship itself has several cannonball-shaped holes in it's wooden hull, through which a few of the crew can be seen hurrying to patch the hole. The captain of the vessel looks rather confused, and indeed he, his ship and crew look rather out-of-place. While he finds a way back where he came from, he is still a pirate, and thus is open to unleashing his frigate's cannons on anywhere in reach.... for the right price.
 
W

Wraithious

Guest
Grontar was eating some fresh fish near the shoreline of some unknown sea. The fire was crackling and burning white blue from the strange sticks of the land's tree litter, just then as he looked over the water he saw what appeared to be a mirage. A shimmering hole ridden ghost galleon was taking shape, the crew were of skeletons, still with bits of dried flesh stuck to their bones. Ahhh, said Grontar and threw down his fish, A nice after dinner workout, probably won't even work up a stomach cramp!
Grontar grasps the staff of Megelantis and casts: Gravity Bind, attempting to confine the dead souls and their knowledge to the staff
 

MikeDark_x

Member
Rheas stares at the talisman as if he was watching a new toy, but then figures he has no use for the marionette because he's not making any experiments and needs no guinea pig, so he sends the talisman to the depths of his inventory

Then he wonders how to deal with the monkeys, he considers that the ray can only affect a thing at a time, and then remembers the unlimited pop corn machine

"A portal to the unlimited pop corn dimension? flooding them with it could work"

And so, he opens a portal to it, the unlimited pop corn dimension, right above the heads of the monkey army and another over Sean
 

rytan451

Member
Mild profanity, but no less than Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.

A man sits upon a chair among the polar ice caps of Ares. He has with him a rulebook of a game, clothing made solely of programmable matter, and a touchscreen implanted upon his left forearm. And a belt upon which a pouch made of mokeskin hangs. And a magic wand. And... Well, you might consider the foldable chair upon which he is sitting.

As the Gods of the Universe watch, he lowers the book, having read the final sentence (When you finish reading this book, you will join the game as a player). He jumps to bis feet, not expecting the words to have actually had any effect upon his reality. After a few fruitless attempts to return to his home, he happens to glance at a giant cloud of green mist in the air. It spells out "Oh, and to even the odds, your Com has been given an upgrade to permit hacking the universe. Ta ta!"
The words vanish as soon as he reads them, and his Com, the implanted touchscreen, lights up with a notification. He taps it, revealing to him a map of the world. It is small in comparison with Earth, but he can see on the map icons representing various people – the other players and the NPCs of the world. He finds that everyone is far enough away to have seen neither the mist nor his arrival.
"Can't a guy get a break?" he asks. "Merlin's beard! Knockturn Alley is dark, but I really didn't expect it to sell books that LITERALLY TRAP PEOPLE IN BATTLES TO THE DEATH!"
Yes, this man was teleported in from the Harry Potter universe.
And yes, he has a touchscreeen implanted in his left arm. It's the future; what do you expect?
"I knew reading that book was a bad idea. Why did I ever listen to that bloody Potter? This is the sort of thing I'd expect him to be trapped in, not William Thomas Anderson."
Yes, that is reference to The Matrix. His parents were fans, and happened to have the right surname.

William stands.
"At least I got to keep my stuff," he says. "Oh, bloody hell," he adds when he realizes that the mokeskin pouch is empty.

He sighs. "At least according to the rulebook, I can resurrect myself if I die. But what happens to my stuff?"

He decides not to take a chance. He spells his soul with a locator charm, and all of his earthly (Aresly?) belongings including his body with a portkey charm set to activate as soon as his soul leaves the body, to teleport to the said soul.

In case you're wondering how he managed to spell his wand: he used a Protego to bounce the magic back onto his wand.

He begins typing on the Com. After all, he wants to be able to feel safe sometimes. He hacks into the universe. And he commands:

A player may claim any single enclosed area he owns or has permission to do so from its owner as his Home. While in one's Home, one's lower bound of roll is 3, and one will heal 10 hit points up to a limit of 100 per turn. Any action upon another's Home will have their roll deducted by 1 unless the Home's owner allows the action, in which case the action will have a lower bound of 2 for a roll.

And, to take advantage of this new Law of Magic, he creates a flying command ship (see KODIAK from Command & Conquer: Tiberium Sun) and claims it as his Home.

Finally, he conjures a tub of Quicksilver (or, as it is more commonly known as in modern times, mercury), and enspells it to recreate his servent golem, Stan.

Stan is slightly confused at having being transported from another universe, as well as angry at the magical bond he can sense, but does not mention it to William.

Will shall continue to believe that Stan is a magical creation of his, not an actual being that he somehow pulled from another universe.

Stan and Will board the KODIAK together, and they take off to fly towards the nearest cluster of players.
 
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