T
Thunder Lion
Guest
When we look at ourselves today we can often reflect on things we've had faith in (not just religion but any set of beliefs),
I for one use to have an honest faith in God, now its more of an agnostic view of not really believing in the god I had always believed in sense like 2009, I can't say anyone thing caused me not to have faith but I can definitely say things just piled up and made me really reconsider the god I seen as god. Now I don't really think god is a non-respector of persons, that god really only chooses to give to who he wants to such an extent that some are left out completely despite potentially sincere faith and character and action, I've seen some vile and lazy persons succeed in my churches and often times at the expense (disrespect, pushing over, bullying etc.) of others with more noble character albeit meek, which last time I checked was a "godly" quality. Also I find that people tend to self worship, gossip, and bite those with oopposing views. They are no different than clubs, sports teams or other less civil elementary social groups. I'm disgusted and ashamed that I allowed myself to become so broken from the loving strong person I was for the sake of others feelings, many things have been taken from me that I thought god promised but now I just see those moments as lies from myself and empty words from people, I have not shadow of doubt that I tried with my best effort in a Christ way to pursue things as I believed god wanted from me, I don't believe in the false god I served for so long cause it has added nothing to me as a person and has only caused me pain and misery, and these facts make me feel more so. I was a good person because I chose to be one, I gave my heart to something that only took my time and resources and cause me strife to this day, my own mother doesn't respect me with her words and she is a highly regarded Christian among friends family and strangers, my family doesn't even talk to me, my friends never cared, my church never even tried to keep in touch, and that's it it was all pretend and a lie and I feel better sharing this.
I for one use to have an honest faith in God, now its more of an agnostic view of not really believing in the god I had always believed in sense like 2009, I can't say anyone thing caused me not to have faith but I can definitely say things just piled up and made me really reconsider the god I seen as god. Now I don't really think god is a non-respector of persons, that god really only chooses to give to who he wants to such an extent that some are left out completely despite potentially sincere faith and character and action, I've seen some vile and lazy persons succeed in my churches and often times at the expense (disrespect, pushing over, bullying etc.) of others with more noble character albeit meek, which last time I checked was a "godly" quality. Also I find that people tend to self worship, gossip, and bite those with oopposing views. They are no different than clubs, sports teams or other less civil elementary social groups. I'm disgusted and ashamed that I allowed myself to become so broken from the loving strong person I was for the sake of others feelings, many things have been taken from me that I thought god promised but now I just see those moments as lies from myself and empty words from people, I have not shadow of doubt that I tried with my best effort in a Christ way to pursue things as I believed god wanted from me, I don't believe in the false god I served for so long cause it has added nothing to me as a person and has only caused me pain and misery, and these facts make me feel more so. I was a good person because I chose to be one, I gave my heart to something that only took my time and resources and cause me strife to this day, my own mother doesn't respect me with her words and she is a highly regarded Christian among friends family and strangers, my family doesn't even talk to me, my friends never cared, my church never even tried to keep in touch, and that's it it was all pretend and a lie and I feel better sharing this.
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