Forum Game Tsme Fack™


The Village Idiot
> Fairy Cat, change face to Garfield

It's just been one of those weekdays.

> Roy: Stop acting like you're one of the players

I refuse, I can update this game by myself, see!

> Roy: Kick down the balcony door from the outside, rescue the fairy cat, and laugh at Wrench-Face.

I kick down the door and save the entire world! Look how amazing I am! I'm the best!


> Remove left boot and proceed into the door that's not boarded up.

Had you not destroyed the map, you would have known it was just a storage closet. There's really no other way for you to know the layout of a house you've lived in for your entire life.
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>You removed your right boot. Please put it back on and remove the left boot.
No you didn't. You removed the left boot then flipped yourself. You put the other boot on your right foot anyway.


>Eat the money. Every last bite. And don't stop until there's no more money in the storage closet.
Okay. All of the money has been eaten.

>Die. Game Over. Bye bye. The End.
You attempt to die but for the life of you, you just can't figure out how.

>Examine suspiciously large doorknob.
Your examining of the DOOR KNOB triggers a boss battle. The DOOR KNOB takes you by surprise and you lose 2/3 of your HP right off the bat, even before it draws its daggers.

Nah, I'm messing with you, it's just a regular lightbulb

"Why is it a lighbulb?", you may ask.

However, you may not get an answer.


>Attack lightbulb
You attack the LIGHT BULB and in one fell swoop it falls. This is because it was a perfectly ordinary lightbulb that will not be rising from the dead at any point to seek revenge or for any other reason.

What a waste of a perfectly good lightbulb.

>Go to Kitchen



> Equip Knife.
Only those pure of heart may pull the knife from the knife holder. You, of course, are not pure of heart so you are not allowed to take the knife.

Wait, what are you doing?
You take the knife anyway

Screw the rules!

> Carve some nice slices of meat, the bone might also be useful too.
You use your new weapon against your most powerful adversary yet: Some meat. You don't have the strength yet to cut through the bone so you're just left kind of rubbing the knife back and forth inside the meat. You go ahead and cut up what you can though.
> Mourn the death of the LIGHT BULB and give it a proper burial.
You bury the lightbulb under bits of ham. What a waste of food.


> Examine books

Those aren't those books. Those aren't your books! Where are your books? Some of those were really expensive. They've been replaced with clock smut.


> Put both feet in the one remaining shoe and hop around like you're in Kuribo's Shoe.
This is the kind of thing you live for. The adventure of a lifetime, right here.

> Take the shoe off.
You continue to live dangerously and on the edge. Removing a shoe while brandishing a knife? Such boldness! You remain completely uninterested in the world outside and the potential proximity of your captor.


> Before leaving, turn the sink on and leave it that way, thereby obtaining due revenge against your captor in the form of an increased water bill.


> Turn the stove on and burn all the books on it.

Book burning is barbaric.
Fortunately, these things don't deserve to be called books.

> Before leaving, turn the sink on and leave it that way, thereby obtaining due revenge against your captor in the form of an increased water bill.

If you had to pay for the water, somehow getting him to pay for it would be great. Or, even better, getting him to pay all of your bills.

> Become interested in the world outside.

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> Roy: I don't understand everything that's going on, recap the first three months of Tsme Fack™


> Roy: I don't understand everything that's going on, recap the first three months of Tsme Fack™

Well, first you were tied up or something
then someone was a hero or something
then you named yourself Mayik Koffee. Or you were already named that. I'm no expert.
then you wasted a ton of time doing nothing.
You found a cat with wings.
You found your Sheer-Grit device which is really cool.
Also, you REALLY hate clocks. I mean seriously. They tick you off. Ahahaha.
Then you discovered you REALLY love doors. I mean seriously. You know how to HANDLE them.
You annoyed a cat, wasted more time, the cat got out.
You looked at clock smut, tried to get out again.
Then you got out, ruined a PERFECTLY good statue.
You realized there are some things you should try to forget.
You chased the cat for no reason.
You went really meta again.
You flooded the place sort of.
Now you're trying to climb outside.


>Climb out through the window. Some of your fingers are outside already!

You escape the house.

>Locate the sun, figure out which direction is north.

Fortunately, you already somehow know the time so you can work out which way North is.

>Figure out which direction isn't north.

That way. Up isn't north.


Yeah, we posted this in a bunch of other places so that's where these other commands are from.

> Perfect. Then go in the opposite direction.

You try to run downward but it doesn't seem to work.

> Take the house with you, just in case you need it later.

Unfortunately, your house is firmly attached to your villain, which just kind of goes where it wants to. Well, okay, you'd need a real villa for it to be a villain, but you like calling it that.

> If you can't take the whole house, just take a small piece.

You try to take a brick from your house with you instead, but you lack the strength to remove it.

> Search for clock towers

There are no clock towers anywhere to be seen.

oh wait never mind there's one sorry

> Evaluate current Sheer-to-Grit ratio. You need to make sure your most powerful tool is in peak condition.

Your GRIT is dangerously high. You'd better do something clever and quick!

> Climb a Tree as a vantage point.

You don't see any trees around, but you could climb onto the roof of your house instea...

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> Call it an Old man, After all it is a Grandfather Clock

He tells you that he's quite insulted by your assumption that he's old. Not all grandfather clocks are old. Just because he's a grandfather clock doesn't mean he's a grandfather.

He wanted to continue this little chat, but now he doesn't want to talk to you. He tells you to kindly go back to your room and tie yourself up again so he doesn't have to as he just wants to get back to sunbathing.

Ah, so he's the horrible, plant killing bastard. What a monster.

> Ask him what the time is. Since he can't see his own face, it ought to distract him!

Sheer increased.

He's prepared for your cunning antics. He pulls out a mirror and checks the time.

It's nine o'clock, he says.

> Remove hat, carve hat into sword, stab clock monster

You'd rather cut off your leg. Speaking of cutting...

> Regret leaving your knife somewhere.

You had a knife just a few minutes ago. You're not sure what happened to it. It must be in one of your pockets. You have so many pockets and they're all so hard to see because of the colour of your pants that trying to find it will be difficult. You try anyway...

> Pull a flamethrower out of pants.

You don't find your knife, but you find your flamethrower painting that actually works like a flamethrower.

> Challenge the clock to a dance off

You want to avenge your plant, so you challenge him to a dance off. Unfortunately, neither of you can dance, and both of you are equipped to fight to the death, so you challenge him to a duel instead.
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You posted this in a bunch of other places? Where?

> Regain conciousness


You posted this in a bunch of other places? Where?
Not sure anymore, because we got no commands at all from some places we posted in so we just abandoned those.

The only places we get a decent amount of commands from are the GMC and From The Depths forums, along with an occasional command from Omegaupdate.

Also, we have a site which no one ever uses to post commands but might be useful in the future if we want people who don't use any of those forums to see it.


From The Depths topic
Omegaupdate (MSPA) topic
Worry not, we update here first <3
(apart from the site)

> Roy, attempt to use face to play connect four.

Roy makes his move in a long-ongoing game of connect four. This will surely outwit his adversary, who will be back in a few days to make his counterattack.

> Someone casts Fearsome Awakening, recursing you as an awesome lightning-breathing dragon.
> hit respawn button?
> You cannot give up just yet! Mayik Koffy, Stay determined!
> Regain conciousness

You weren't actually dead, but you come back to life anyway.

Your captor is nowhere to be seen. He probably went to grab a coffee.


> Try to pull the door open. If that doesn't work, try to push it open. If that doesn't work, accept that you are stuck here forever and give up all hope of escape.


>Attempt to kill yourself by stabbing yourself in the face with the clock hands.

The Sheer-Grit device doesn't know what to do about this unexpected action.

>He's busy right? Nothing better to do than buy a latte.
>Try to pull the door open. If that doesn't work, try to push it open. If that doesn't work, accept that you are stuck here forever and give up all hope of escape.

You successfully pull open the door to reveal the warm homely koffe shop beyond. When in Rome...

>barf out some cash and get coffee

You ask for a coffee and the barista begins to mayik koffe in the most agonisingly slow way, transporting the koffe beenz one by one from bag to cup.

>Gotta go fast

Alright, alright. Don't rush him. He's trying as hard as he can.


> Remove the clock hand from your face.
(It's been a long time, are you just not getting enough commands or what?)
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