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Forum Game Tsme Fack™


> Pull plug


You're so, so sorry. It has to be done. Goodbye, lamp.
A single tear rolls down your cheek. How tragic.

> Examine the actual window


It's a window. It's real. It doesn't seem to have a handle or hinges. There doesn't appear to be a way to open it.

> Examine horsheshoe object


It's your SGTT (Sheer Grit Tube Thingy). SGTTs are extremely rare and require a complicated ritual to magically bind them to a person, and they're even harder to create. You don't know the origin of yours and you don't remember ever performing the ritual, but you've had it for as long as you can remember and it's been bound to you all that time.
The SGTT is extremely useful. It prevents you from getting sick or sustaining any permanent injuries. However, this has its cost. The liquid inside changes colour depending on which side of the tube is on. When it's orange, it's called grit. When it's purple, it's called sheer.
The liquid moves to one side or the other depending on your behaviour, so it actually determines how you live your life. Whenever something that would otherwise hurt you happens, the liquid gets knocked further off balance.

> Use third hand to cut your ropes


Hmmmm... The ropes are just a drawing, it seems. Weird. They seemed very real before.

> Pet kitty

It doesn't want you to pet it.

> Talk to the fairy cat

You tell the fairy cat about your day. You wait for some kind of interesting response, but it just informs you it has run out of faeces to provide you with, as usual.
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So the sheer-grit protects us from death?

>Stick tongue is socket.


> Develop an irrational hatred for clocks.


You don't exactly hate them, but they're starting to annoy you.

>Stick your tongue into the socket.


You try, but it doesn't fit.

> Remove your hat




That circle drawn in the middle of the floor looks mighty rituatlistic

> Stand in the middle of the circle and start chanting in Latin


> Stand in the middle of the circle and start chanting in Latin


"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..."
"consectetur adipiscing elit..."
"Maecenas commodo sodales nibh sed MOLESTIE!!!"

Nothing happens.

> Search the drawers of the table next to the window

TsmeFack_0014C.png TsmeFack_0014D.png

Oh, more clocks. Of course.


> Throw the "A History of Hot Ladies with Cool Swords" book at the window because there aren't enough clocks in it.


>Read "A History of Hot Ladies with Cool Swords"


It is a book you bought a while ago but you have yet to read it. The title is slightly inaccurate: It's actually just about the most famous one; Mildred Von Spaghettishirt. She was the hottest and her sword the coolest. It's her biography. It was supposed to be about some other hot girls with cool swords, too, but there is enough content even without them.
No, that's not quite true. It's actually a small part of her 141 books long biography (Yes, her life really was that interesting).
This is the first book in the series, but not the first one chronologically. You're not sure why. You'd assume they wanted to start with a really interesting part to get the readers' attention if you didn't know how ridiculous that is. Her entire life was amazing and everyone knows that.
Anyway, this particular book is about her quest for the legendary Wintercrown. She wanted to test her Armour That's Slightly Warmer Than Average Which Basically Means It's Actually On Fire, Like, All The Time and her Sword of Hypothermia she had acquired earlier, and the best way to do that was to try to get something that used to belong to Winter himself.
No one knows if she ever found it. Well, okay, that's not quite true. Pretty much everyone except you knows it because you're probably the only person who hasn't read this bestseller yet. And it's not like there's any other way to find out something about an important historical figure aside from pretty much any way ever.
Common knowledge is really hard to acquire, okay?

> Throw the "A History of Hot Ladies with Cool Swords" book at the window because there aren't enough clocks in it.


This book is not good enough for your refined palette.
You'll eventually come back to it.
You always do.

>Eat bug


What IS good enough for your refined palette is this cockroach. Mmmmm.


> straighten the fallen clock on the right.


There we go, much better.

> Examine the map or whatever that colorful thing in the drawer is


It's one of the three sheets of paper given to you by a strange traveler. You have no idea why, and you don't know what they mean. You just know there's three of them, and you might need the other two. Fortunately, they're also in the drawer. You take both of them.



> it's three o'clock. a bird chirping comes out of your forehead while your arm emits bell sounds.


Grit increased. At this rate, you'll be dead before you even escape the room.
Maybe you should stop acting on every single one of your whims.
But you think you'll just lick the window instead.

> Lick window

Thith ith fun.
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There's a face in the picture on the bottom left side.
>Examine the face, it looks suspicious


Lost The Bet
> Place a clock standing next to the window on the center of the clock in the middle of the room


> Examine the face, it looks suspicious


The only faces in this room are your face and the face of your fairy cat. You don't exactly have a way of looking at the former, and the latter is not particularly suspicious.

> Take one of the clocks standing next to the window and place them on the carpet in the middle of the room


> Look for an exit


There it is.

> Understand the exit


You know pretty much everything there is to know about doors.

> Become the exit


How, and more importantly, WHY?


The Village Idiot
> Go Out

You think about "going out" with the door.

You slowly kiss the door passionately, you think of taking it out to a fancy restaurant. You think about a long term relationship involving you and the door, everything for a moment becomes one. Your dreams are realized, isn't this door all you ever really wanted? Your thoughts are left blank in a soft embrace with lips upon frame.


You tenderly grasp the wood and caress the whole door with your body, the door is your soulmate, people may consider "door" to be wooden and emotionless but deep down you know inside the door is more of pretty much the same. But you don't care about that, as you tenderly get splinters in your tongue and cheeks you feel a sense of fulfillment and I feel really uncomfortable typing this.


The door does nothing in a disproving way. It's not that kind of door. You blush and never speak of this again.
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>Open up to the door (not to be confused with open the door)


> Stare at the fairy cat.


You're not that good at staring.
"Are you gonna let me out of here or what?"

>Throw a clock inside the cat's cage

"What did you do that for, that's not how you open a cage you-" The cat proceeds to express its vocabulary akin to that of a sailor.


> Check hunger and thirst status.


This is you hunger-thirst meter. It indicates how hungry or thirsty you are. It's probably the most complicated system so far, but that's only because the only other system you've been informed about is sheer - grit. But I digress. Your ability to do anything is based on how hungry or thirsty you are. The meter is actually a bit more complex than just two values. There are hunger, thirst, energy and hydration. Hunger is the grey thing directly under the apple. The more intense its colour is, the higher your hunger is. Hunger increases constantly, but the more physically demanding the things you do are, the faster it increases. Once it reaches a certain point, it starts draining your energy. Your energy is the large orange thing on the upper right side of the picture. The darker it is, the less energy you have. Once energy gets low enough, you start taking damage, and the lower it gets the more damage you take. Fortunately, the sheer-grit meter is there to protect you, so it needs to completely unbalance that before it kills you. Your thirst is the thing under the water droplet, and your hydration is the thing in the lower left of the picture. It works like hunger and energy, but your hydration depletes faster than your energy and your thirst increases faster than your hunger. Also, high temperatures make thirst levels rise faster. That's not all there is to the system, of course. We don't think our players are idiots and blah blah baby's first hunger system. The energy indicator also blah blah yadda yadda and the colour changes blah blah blah so diverse foods are needed. Something something blah blah talky talky whatever hire a nutritionist, but blah blah talk yadda dhhshsh aghgahtnsdjdzgm blah blah whatesbn but only hshjgf blah talk blah blah blah blah talk talk yadda yadda yadda talk talk speak utter expatiate talk talk yadda yadda blah evenings only. Prices of spices, of course talk talk blah blah blah grahsgbafkg sdgj nnfsnsg hskhjfgkg blah blah crime rates blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah sacrifice a goat blah blah blah blah blah talk talk yadda yadda yadda the economy blah blah talky talky talky blah blah blah working conditions talk blah talk talk of magic and wizardry talk blah talk talk talk talk domestic terrorism, but not when blah blah blah gaehjutesgjfdkl yadda yadda yadda yadda gjagfshdmgnjlmjnlnjvjhofiohc blah blah blha... ahg... artdusatf... blah blah blah blahblahblah lalalalala.... blaaaaah... blah... blah blah....... blah blah...... blah....

Nah, you're full.

> Break the window with a clock and jump out


Well, that didn't work.

> Tell the cat to open it on its own if he really feels that much smarter than you.


The cat cleverly gets out of the cage because it's that much smarter than you.
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>ask the cat for the time, then tell him that some instants have passed since he started thinking of the time and therefore what he said is incorrect.


>Check if there's anything behind the paintings


It's just your painting of a safe. Fortunately it's still there.

>Ask the cat for the time
"It's obviously three o'clock."
>Then tell him that some instants have passed since he started thinking of the time and therefore what he said is incorrect.


>Tell the cat to get out of the room if he's that smart.


The cat leaves the room.