My fellow citizens of a vague country that we're running for office in, My fellow party member Roy seems to have all the ideas. However, I'd like to point out something about my party mate that no one else seems to have noticed. Roy has a history of alcoholism and addictions to hard drugs, as shown by this secret picture that was taken in his house that I just happened to come by on accident. In the image you can clearly see an undoctored photo in which Roy is partaking in injecting some sort of fluid into his veins.
This man sits here and spouts at you about his ideals, then goes home and does this to himself. This is dangerous and he obviously can't make these decisions on his own. What a repugnant waste.