Okay, I think it has been long enough that I am allowed to bump, given the shortness and lack of detail put into my last reply.
Firstly, Mario Kart 8 reeks of sameness. The levels have no identity.
Partially, this is not the fault of the artists, but just how the brain processes information.
For example, when you watch TV sideways, the people in the show just look like objects without character. Same as when you look at someone upside-down, they lose their identity and just look like shapes and objects.
This same phenomenon takes place in Mario Kart 8, on any of the upside down tracks. When the brain feels like it is upsidedown, it starts to lose track of the identity, and things just start flowing together, like shapes and objects. The tracks start to feel like a continuous stream of sameness.
This, however, fails to explain the phenomenon of Yoshi Circuit remake of the old GC. The remake is a decent track. But something about it, just does not feel spatially the same as the original. It feels like a completely different track. Specially, everything feels cramped. Like it is a never ending series of turns, and it doesn't have a clear identity to the track, like the original did. Like it just exists, but is without solid form.
Firstly, lets get something out of the way: Super Mario Kart was terrible. Even back in its day there were better games, like F-Zero. And the gameplay of Mario Kart 8 seems like a throwback, a tribute, a nod to Super Mario Kart. I get the sense of respecting the old legends. But couldn't they have copied a game that was actually good, like Mario Kart 64? Super Mario Kart was the worst, in almost every conceivable way (except for the music, which was amazing). And Mario Kart 8 seems like it's trying to emulate it and pay homage to it. This alone makes the game worse than it should have been, in my book.
So just like the original Super Mario Kart, every turn feels like a total piece of work. You can't just race normal, every turn is like a convoluted 90 degree turn. And everything but the road has an asinine amount of friction to it. It's like you drive off the road for one second, and hit a bit of grass, and it just slows you down instantly. The walls, just stop you instantly, like one of those crappy game maker 6.1 games from 2000. The physics are so bad in this game, which is to be expected since they modeled this game to play the same as some game that was made in 1990 frickin 2.
I used to laugh when Square Eyed Jak made fun of this stupid drag-racing game, which said on the cover "No more corners or sissy turns, just hardcore racing in a straight line." I used to laugh and mock that statement. I said, how could there be any good racing, without any turns? But now I actually know what they meant! Because all you do in Super Mario Kart and Mario Kart 8 is take asinine turns over and over again! It seems to be more about turning than racing! It seems like there's more curved track than straightaways! It seems like actual racing makes up like 5% the game, and turning holding the RT button takes 75%, and powerups take 20%.
And it wouldn't be so bad, except that you literally have to hold RT and drift around every corner! No real racing game does that! When you race karts in real life you don't drift around most corners! Drifting was supposed to be a finesse move, to prove you are a talented racer, something you do to feel proud of and show off. But when it's a requirement it no longer feels special, it feels mandatory, like it sucks the fun out of drifting. And just when you are tired of it, and decide not to drift around a corner, the guy behind you suddenly passes you because apparently he wasn't tired of doing the drift boost over and over again.
It wouldn't be so bad if, drift mode was an option that you could disable it. But there's literally no option, except to play on 50cc where the AI are so terrible they aren't even in the race, and you can't find an online lobby with 50cc because noone plays this game, which leads in to my second topic: Why noone plays this game.
Noone plays this game, because there is literally the same game, but with minor feature improvements, on the Nintendo Switch. Looking at the videos I am guessing the physics are still exactly as terrible as before.
And why, oh why, is this acceptable? Here's how I know it is blind fanboyism. Noone has an argument except blindly parroting that the graphics are better. When graphics are your main argument, that is red flags that you aren't an unbiased reviewer. But here is the biggest red flag that it is blind fanboyism and delusional.
Because of the fact I have always been a Nintendo fan. And yet, even this game isn't good enough for me. And there is a red flag even better than that. The fact that there is a Nintendo tradition of always making a new Mario Kart (and recently, smash bros) for every new TV console. And yet, they release 2 versions of the same game for Wii U and Switch, and literally noone cares. They are so busy prostrating to Pink Gold Peach that they don't even complain about it or even notice about it. It is a clear sign we are dealing with the delusional, or something along the lines of a cult.
It is just such weakness and mediocrity, Nintendo spitting on the very values that made it such a great company. It has been ages since I have even seen the Nintendo Seal of Approval anywhere, its like it doesn't exist on the Wii Shop. I have seen Wii Shop titles that were so mediocre it has made game maker games made by 8 year olds look good. And there is just a sheer lack of effort by nintendo like they don't even give a care, like the only thing they care about is money and they don't even care about quality anymore. They release 2 mario kart games on the Wii Shop, Mario Kart DS and Super Circuit. And they don't even have multiplayer in it. The rationale? It would actually take effort and cost money to put multiplayer in it. What kind of reasoning is this anyway? That's the kind of reasoning you'd expect from a 10 year old who doesn't want to do his homework. Then they say, it would just not be worth the time, because not enough people would buy it. Well maybe if their shop's library wasn't so freakin abysmal and swamped with beyond the bottom of the barrel shovelware, you'd have more people lurking the shop. What's the deal Nintendo?
And the netcode? The netcode of this game is actually terrible. Sometimes it just disconnects you from a lobby for no reason, right in the middle of a race! And it doesn't even display an error explanation for you to even understand why it happened! And when you are in a lobby, you are stuck with the kart you have, you have to abandon all the people in the lobby just to choose a new kart. And the chat room is so weak. I understand no swearing, but it feels zombified like some kind of future movie, like you aren't even allowed to brag or rub in that you are better. It feels so sterilized. Where is the grit of the original Mario Kart of Peach drinking booze? It feels so empty and lofty, like there isn't even a podium or victory celebration even in the game. And even the netcode has gameplay problems. For instance, I will driftboost past someone and drop a banana on them. And yet, they somehow, litterally 1/2 second later are infront of me again! Its litterally more retarded than the rubberbanding of the AI of Mario Kart 64! The most insanely retarded thing I seen happen to me is, I was in the air with a Piranha. My piranha bit the guy right infront of me (Keep in mind the Piranha only has a range of a few yards, so he had to be quite close to me when it happened.) He fell out of the sky to his doom, and I landed the jump perfectly on the ground. But then Lakitu puts him front of me, and not only is he in front of me, but his kart is actually going faster than mine and he still has the lead? What utter broken brand of insanity is that? In a comedy movie it would have been funny, but it wasn't funny to me.
