Forum Game Stick Figures With Hats.


The only solution is fighting fire with fire. Heart Guy, roast Heat Guy figuratively.

"Your town? Who even are you? Heat Guy? Your parents must have had the imagination of a grain of sand! Ironic, isn't it, that the Guy of Heat would be the one to receive the verbal firestorm. And no doubt you'll not withstand, loss and you go hand in hand. It's too hot my man, get out of the kitchen lest your face need some stitchin' Were you shakin' and twitchin' under desk while I was savin' your butt from a fiery bewitchin'?
You're not a hero despite that cape you wear, you're done, get out of our hair. (of which you have none on your head) Battle no more, go flip burgers instead. I've seen it, at the end of this you're gonna be-"
You continue like this far longer than anyone in your presence is comfortable with.

Let's switch back to Spade Guy, shall we?

You are no longer someone who is attempting to insult a man through rhyme.

"They're... dead?"

"Gold, they were horrible, terrible, but they shouldn't die right? Right? I don't even... Did you do this? Why?"​
Last edited:




Hey Dreamy Steve, what's life like not existing?

'Salright. You get to show people the door and demand they use it. You love insisting that people get out of here. Not much to do though. Once you saw a cloud that looked like a wizard.​


Use the door then

You're awake now and have no idea how you got home. You don't understand a lot of the goings-on in this crazy mixed up world. Looks like the sky's exploding. Another thing that makes little to no sense.​


Look at the sky, admire the explosions

Mmm those are some fine fireworks.

Wait a minute... If you look closer you can see...

Is that a dragon?​


Good drawing ! =D
thanks buddy!

No it's my dad

You knew his job put him in grave danger but you didn't expect to see his dragon fall burning from the sky. Surely the odds are against it right? Maybe this just happens every day and he's going to be just fine?​


Gawk alarmingly as you discover he is really Ace Dick.

You plaster your face with surprise as you realise that your father's name is Ace Dick. The surprise is wholly facetious of course because you have always known your father's name and there is no revelation to be had here, of the shocking variety or any other conceivable variety.

The dragon is on fire, but so is Heart Guy, metaphorically speaking.

"On fire" is putting it mildly. The burns that you have just spent the past hour delivering are downright nuclear in nature. The continent will remain verbally uninhabitable for millennia to come. The people of the future will look back on this day and thank their lucky stars that such volatile tonguecraft can never successfully be replicated, for your art is as unique as it is potent.

At least that is what you think. I the narrator and they the audience know that your burns are the oral version of children having a fistfight. Nobody is impressed by- hey are those dragons?​


Heat Guy: Quick, use some subtle, sneaky insults on your foe while his guard's down

"Don't even try to bring The Heat again."

You take 5 Fortitude damage from your opponent's fiery insult. Normally you'd be able to parry such diseased fires but you were too distracted to focus on your linguistic swordplay.​



You may be Heat Guy but you're gonna get burned into next we-

Heat Guy: Answer the phone.

Alright but it's a crystal ball not a telephone.
"Heatguy! There was an explosion! What happened?"​


Check what happened.

"There's a kind of large crater here, fire too big to just go out on its own. I don't know what to do, I need help, I need backup."

Call Pyromaniacs Anonymous and ask for advice.

And Heatguy fortunately knows exactly where he can get help.
PA is not currently in session but he knows one individual who attends the meetings who may be of some assistance.

"You see this fire? Can one man get rid of it?"
"Yeah sure you just need to be really great like I am."

"So there's no hope?"
"Looks like there's some backup on the way. They'll help your sorry butt out won't they?"

"Can't you deal with this now?"
"Nah I'm busy."

"What are you busy with, just standing there?"
"Yeah, what's it to ya?"

'Some assistance' may have been an overstatement.

Heat and Heart guy, combine.

Heatguy makes an attempt to combine with Hearts. Alas, combining with other beings is not something Heatguy is capable of, and he's CERTAINLY not able to combine with stick figures of all things.​


Heat guy try not to heat die

Heat guy fears no fire. But the property and lives of his citizens are at risk here, not just his own. His full firefighting effort will do little against the inferno before him but sometimes a little is all you need to save someone.

Combine harvester

You decide to help out with the firefighting effort. Your tool of choice? The only singular vehicle capable of reaping, threshing and cleansing the flame in one fell swoop, the very means of production itself, the Combine Firefigh- I mean Harvester. Combine Harvester. That's what you're going to use for this job.

At least you would if you had a combine harvester. Carrying vehicles around with you is of course a ludicrous idea and anyone who entertains the notion of doing so likely has a malfunctioning brain hole.​


Dreamy Steve, give us a rundown of what's been happening. I'm lost.

Dreamy Steve cannot give you or anyone else a recap, for he is currently busy saving... is that a dragon?​



Need to make sure pops is okay. Gotta catch him if he needs catching.

You are now this guy. You've just come back from the first of apparently many intermissions in this godawful play that you've decided for some reason to subject yourself to. You'll probably sneak out during the next intermission unless it gets really good really soon.

What are you going to do that does not involve making a scene in the crowded theatre?​


Drone on and on about math.

Math is a very small, simple field and, although you are among the world leaders, there is not much to drone on and on about. Instead of trying to draw a three hour lecture from so little material you decide to announce the solution to one of the hardest problems of the past thirty years. The people around you do not understand the significance of this academic breakthrough but they do hear math noises and are impressed.

Talk about the weather. That's never awkward.

You don't know what the weather is like at the moment. Recently because of the conflicts it's been changing at a drop of a hat so who knows, it could be raining dragons or something. Only one way to check what the weather is...

Looks like it's raining dragons.

Jump out the window, make a scene outside the theatre.

No sense in staying put when the outside seems so much safer.

A scene has been made for you. Make a bigger scene? [Y/N]​


Now that making a scene is inevitable, make MAXIMUM SCENE!
Spam the Y key

You scream to the heavens, making the greatest scene ever witnessed in the history of Universe Prime. How could this happen? Who is responsible? Will justice be sought for the destruction of this mediocre theatrical establishment!?!? You need answers and you're willing to go to any ends to get them!

You ignore the screaming lunatic and venture wearily forth to see if your father is okay.

There he is! You hope he's not-

"Hey Saph, fancy seeing you here."

-He's fine.​


"-He's fine." Change that.

Sorry, let me correct myself - He's alive. He's not fine, his leg is very much broken. This is sure to get in the way of his job as a Guy What Supplies The Military With Stuff.​


Grab his leg and try to force it back together

You attempt to use healing magics to repair the leg. Anyone can do it, right? It's just a matter of technique. You tell yourself this but it doesn't make your healing any more effective than it otherwise would be, which is an abject failure.

The moment you let go of the leg, it falls open once again. You are clearly not a doctor. Hopefully you didn't accidentally give him cancer.

You ask him who's responsible for this.

After repairing his leg, take revenge against the parties responsible

"It was the Heart Nation. They sent a small group to stop our supply mission. And it would have worked if I couldn't glide this dragon all the way to this city. You should have seen it Saph, I was awesome. Your dad, best glider in the whole army I tell ya! Now I can just ask someone else to deliver these important supplies for me. You deliver things! Can you help me out here?"​


Johnny: Be the guy who's going to get revenged for shooting down Dad's dragon

Johnny, who is in another continent, is now this guy, who is... racing across the ocean in something of a hurry. What are you in such a hurry for Johnny?

Glad you asked. You've been summoned to an emergency involving-

Wait, before that, what's your name?

Johnny B Goode.

No, that would be silly, we already have a Johnny. For two people to have the same name, it would be absurd!

Your name is Franz Featguy.

Remove your face

You specialise in acting deep within enemy territory, quickly removing infrastructure necessary for their futile resistance against your nation. You have to make a point of not being seen or identified whilst doing this, or a relative of someone you kill might hunt you down and remove your heart. You wouldn't want to be killed in such an ironic way, oh no.

Your Queen has summoned you to an emergency of "utmost importance". Not like every emergency he summons you to isn't of utmost importance. According to him, you are to be part of a huge army to be formed quickly to recruit or subdue a potent demon that has appeared in the heart of your nation.​


Everyone: Agree that Peace is the worst, so boring!

Indeed! Who wants to live without an enemy? Good times breed only weak men who inn turn wreak only bad times.

The dragon has died. Looks like it was rendered unconscious by some kind of attack penetrating its torso, then died in a collision with a flat surface, probably the ground.
A shame. You like dragons, they are very majestic. You briefly consider genociding the species responsible for this most gruesome of murders.

You quickly banish that thought because of its absurdity. There is only one way out of the dream realm and the door will not open for you.​


Dreamy Steve, imagine a door into the Nightmare realm. There might be a way out from there.

You imagine a door to the Nightmare Realm. The door, as you can see, is rather nightmarish. Perhaps the Nightmare Realm has a way into the real world. It's hard to tell because it is imaginary as is the door. As far as you are aware you cannot enter this imaginary door.​



"Oh, I'm asleep again."

"Your injuries have rendered you unconscious. You'll be-"

Nightmare Stephanie, climb out the door and greet Dreamy Steve.

Nightmare Stephanie cannot climb out of the door because the door does not open from her side. She can, however, make a real ruckus by knocking furiously upon it, the next best thing.

Just sort of reach out and touch it!

Huh, you wonder if you can...

Hey, it works! You didn't realise you could just grab it. The door doesn't seem to be too pleased about being grabbed though. As much as an imaginary door can, it seems to be trying to escape.

Dreamy Steve: Believe you can enter the real world.

You can not believe this because it is false. The only way to the "real" world is through the door over there which you hold aloft to sate your boredom. You cannot, however, open it. Only others can do that.​


Get right next to it, when someone opens it you must be right next to it!
Guy What Supplies The Military With Stuff: Open the door for Dreamy Steve

You, Dreamy Steve, tell the guy to wait for you while you, Ace, the military supplyfellow, begrudgingly oblige and you, Steve, fly up to the door. You could lower the door to you but you've been keeping it airborne for so long that the habit is harder to break than to maintain.

You, Steve and Ace, are now in the real world.​