Forum Game Stick Figures With Hats.


Note: SFWH lives here.
Begin observing SFWH.

You're a stick figure with a hat, and by "with a hat" I mean your head is the heart symbol.

You've just arrived in... you don't know where this is, frankly. You don't fully comprehend how you got here. You were in the middle of some rather pressing business and suddenly boom, you're here.

Teleportation sounds like a reasonable and logical explanation for this otherwise mysterious locomotion.

What are you going to do?​
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Take off my "hat" to see what my face looks like.

You detach your hat to reveal to the audience that your face is actually... attached to your head, which is also your hat. If you seek grand facial reveals, I suggest you look elsewhere.​


How far is the fall down that ledge? Grab a stone or something and throw it off. Tell us how much later you hear a thump.

It's very low. There's a shallow river down there. You could stick your hand in and poke the bottom if you wanted to. Hell, you could climb down, do some sort of jig and climb out with ease.

Question why your head is shaped like a heart.

The answer is simple.

Your head is a heart because you are destined to lead great armies to victory! Armies of at least four members! Armies of at least three competent members! You have done it before and sure as the heart on your shoulders you are going to do it again!

Well, what about going inside one of the houses?
Investigate the houses.

Okay, let's have a look in this house over here.

Who the devil is this lass? She seems a tad surprised about something.​


Lick the candle

The candle tastes surprisingly good. You've tasted candles before and this is definitely one of the better ones. You'll have to write up a full review at a later date, but for now it seems like this candle's an 8/10. Maybe even 9!​
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Get ye flask

No getting is required, for you already have your Flask Of Hubris Resistance. A mighty potion that prevents you from being an overconfident numpty and landing yourself in a dangerous situation for a few minutes after it is used.​


Can I put the lass in ye flask?

You most certainly can, my good man.

Crawl under the couch

You pocket the Flask Of Lass and hide under the sofa.

Get rid of the contents of ye flask

Nobody needs a Flask of Lass. You wisely evict the lass from your property, also casting the Hubris Resistance across the floor. Now you can use the flask to contain other things like-

Eat ye flask

You get shards of glass embedded in your face. There was a little Resistance still in there.
-1.4 Hubris.

Say hello

You greet the lass and acknowledge the haphazardness of your intrusion into the once sacred space that is her household. But you do not apologise because it is your right to break into people's homes and break their pots and that.

Ask the lady why her hair is on fire.

You inquire as to why the woman's hair is ablaze. She asks you if you're from the "wood age" in what you can only assume is an insulting manner. You ask her to just answer the damn question. She says she likes how it looks on her.

Recruit lady to party

You imprison the woman in your party, to be deployed to your aid at any time in combat.​
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Rename the woman Johnny Test

You decide to give the woman a new name more fitting for her enflamed hair.

Flip face upside-down to be a spade

You are now a stick figure with a hat, and by "with a hat" I mean your head is the spade symbol.
You've just arrived on... an island somewhere you guess? You've no idea where this island is, but you do fully comprehend how you got here. You were in the middle of some rather pressing business and suddenly boom, you leave.
What are you going to do?​


Roa: Not sure if sarcastic or not.

Dig for playing cards

No cards down here.

Build to the sky with rocks

You cease your frivolous invasion into the ground and forge your own land. Upward you go. To the heavens, to the stars.
Looks like you're going to need more rocks.

Do a swan dive into the water.

That was a terrible idea. The water's cold and you're probably going to have to climb back up to the island.​


I said don't dig! No one said to dig! Why did he dig?!?!? Choices don't matter! This game is rigged! hax.

> Drown again after you drown.



You have now arrived in the land where the dead come to see an opportunity to live again. A land of souls no longer tied to the worlds proper. You have arrived in LIMBO.

Drown again after you drown.

After dying, you arrive right back where you started. You've wasted a huge amount of your own time and energy. Congratulations!​


Double-wield picks

You are ready to apply a good pick to the face at the drop of a hat! None shall stand against you! AAAAAAaaaaeh you would probably lose a fight against anyone with a gun actually. Or a brain.

Shout Hello World into the hole

"Hello World!"
"Hello mysterious voice!"​


"My name is Benedict Devonson, come with me if you want to live!"

"Liar! I'm Benedict Devonson!"
The other person has seen through your elaborate ruse.

Drop a stone into the hole. Mysterious voices love stones.


You perform a swanlike dive into the hole. If a judge had been present, you'd have received a solid 8/10. "Would have been better if you weren't jumping into solid rock" would have been one of many comments made by this hypothetical judge.

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Get back up and climb down

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Get warned about the stairs man

This is the first time to your knowledge that you have been warned about the stairs, man.
It would have been helpful if you'd received said warning BEFORE your unfortunate encounter, but alas. You'll be more cautious around stairways in the near future.

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Be freaked out seeing a stick figure with a normal face and an actual hat!

There are no other stick figures here, either with a "normal face and hat", whatever that means or otherwise.
Maybe you should look for some to help you with your rather abstract goals and be freaked out only once seeing them.

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Hearthat: Go upstairs. Spadehat: Go downstairs.

The door is locked.


Search for puzzles.

There's a puzzle right in front of you. It's a door that is not already open. How does one pass through such a devious mechanism? How is one to thwart the protective measures employed by the nefarious architect? Is it even possible to circumvent its blockade?

Of course, this puzzle poses no challenge to you.

Lick the door

These doors are rather weak indeed.

Beyond the door is a crossroads with some kind of statue at its center. Off the bridges' sides is a pit that goes all the way to magma. You can go FORTH, LEFT, RIGHT or BACK.

Pass through newly-doorless doorway? Y/N​


Examine elaborate wall decorations

That appears to be your head in the middle there.
And what's that behind it? A snake with its head on fire? You guess it's a miniboss you have to fight at some point or something. You make a note to keep hold of any loot that's strong against snakes.

lie down and think of something NORMAL to do

You lay down on the floor, determined to avoid the malicious schemes of Plot Development. Nay, you'll stick to NORMAL pasttimes, thank you very much!

Punch self in face to assert dominance

Such as showing yourself who's the boss.
There, that put you in the place. You know who's in charge now and don't you forget it!

Be diamondhat

You're a stick figure with a hat, and by "with a hat" I mean your head is the diamond symbol.
You're standing in your own home and you perfectly recall how you arrived here. You were in the middle of some rather pressing shopping then boom, you walked home.
No explanation is needed for this non-mysterious locomotion.

I'd ask what you'd do but it seems there's someone at the door.

Yo diamond, what's going on, what are you doing are you ready for the... the fight thing? Have you got your gun sword thing, have you got the others? I got my stuff with me, I'm locked and loaded, come on!
Oh right.

The others went off somewhere to fight so I guess we're on our own today.
So uh...

They gonna be back soon or what?

Nah, I don't think so. I'll bring a tank though, make sure we win.

Tanks for the extra firepower!

See what I did there?

Ah, suit yourself I thought that was funny.
Haha that was pretty good.
The rare and powerful DOUBLE PUN! The old one-two, gets 'em every time... alright let's go before we stand around yakking so long the world ends.


Replace your face with the candle

You hastily find something to use as a face. The candle serves as a perfect substitute.
New face!!! =D

Allow your face to eat your body

Your face makes an attempt to eat your body but fails to perform the important "digesting" stage of the eating process because it has no stomach.

You now have a face on your torso and a candle in your skullhole.​


Remove your arms

Your bold quest of self-deconstruction continues without fail.

Everyone else: Follow Hearthat's example.

You're about to tear your face off when you trigger a trap card: Exposition!
You are unaware of Hearts' face-related antics so you must remember the last thing you saw him do.

He teleported to a random spot on the planet.
Well, that's not something you can do so you fail miserably in your quest to follow Hearts' example.

The last thing you know, Hearts was off to fight someone. Specifically he was going to fight Spades. That particular punching bag is not available right now so you'll just fight these jokers you scheduled last week.

Enter the arena and battle adversaries? [Y/N]​


I choose not Y, not N, but /.

You choose "/".
You're not sure what that entails. To enter or not to enter, that is the question.

Y: Form a totem pole for extra STRENGTH.
Y: Punch your way through the door. With your tongues.
Y: This will be interesting.

You get onto Clubs and punch up the door a bit with your tongue. The door effortlessly deflects the lick, for it is invincible. No matter, the door will automatically open in a few seconds.

You have met these four adversaries before.

Their leader has a black hole for a head. As you might expect, he has an IMMENSE gravitational field. He also sometimes shoots black holes from his face which messes with everyone's sense of direction, including his allies. Not much to be done about this bastard; best to eliminate his teammates first.

The team's muscle has a cloud for a head. He's got lightning skills that would make Thor himself jealous. He was the world champion in lightning basketball for a while. He must die first.

Their fodder is the one with the thing that looks like a gear for a face. You never knew what that was. What a stupid hat. You all agree that you hate that hat and the person to which it belongs. Stupid poopy hat.

The fellow in the rice hat hasn't actually contributed to any fight at any point. He usually just sits on the outskirts of the battlefield doing absolutely nothing. Which obviously means that he has some kind of legendary unstoppable attack that he's hiding from you and saving for a special occasion. He seems to be a moron. You want to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't try anything fishy but he's not worth more than that.

You have your trusty Gatling Staff to pump these jokers full of deadly deadly bullets. Nobody cares about their stupid special powers when you have a gun. Just in case, you brought your Drill Tank for protection against whatever gimmicks they've brought with them. You also have your classic Bomb Bomb Bomb, which obviously explodes into Bomb Bombs and then into Bombs.

How will you ice these fools?​


The Village Idiot
> Club guy should run at an angle around the black hole guy so Club guy goes back in time. Keep doing so until you are at Black Hole guy's childhood. Tell him he will meet three people later in his life that he must betray, Cloud guy, Gear guy, and Rice guy. He must stick by them until he battles Diamond guy and Club guy. At which point he should kill all three of his supposed allies.


Clubs-head: Wear the jester hat

What a wonderful hat!

Begin with clubs-head moving in through cover, diamonds will lay down suppressing fire with his gatling staff. Anyone that doesn't go down to the barrage of gunfire gets clubbed.

Such is the peril of having a black hole on your team.

Fortunately that jester hat is also a lightning rod.

Club guy should run at an angle around the black hole guy so Club guy goes back in time. Keep doing so until you are at Black Hole guy's childhood. Tell him he will meet three people later in his life that he must betray, Cloud guy, Gear guy, and Rice guy. He must stick by them until he battles Diamond guy and Club guy. At which point he should kill all three of his supposed allies.

That's a great idea! Except black holes don't work like that and time just slows down a bit. You get picked up off the ground by the gravity...

...and you're dead.​


Clubs head, respawn

You respawn at a random place and time, as usual. You have basically zero chance of getting back into that fight.

Diamonds: deploy drill tank

Your buddy just got himself pointlessly killed and the opponents still have thunderhead over there on their side.
If now's not the time for heavy armour, you don't know what is.

"Thunderhead" is unimpressed.

The tank is effortlessly countered.

Diamond head, grab black hole guy's leg and shove it in his head

Of course, you thought that Thunderhead would immediately destroy the tank. You took the opportunity to run right up to the black hole guy and shove his leg into his head.

Black hole guy is now floating in the air, spinning uncontrollably. You don't know if you'll just leave him like that or put him out of his misery.​


The Village Idiot
Grab Black Hole guy's arms and throw him like a boomerang towards the other opponents, absorbing them and killing them instantly!

Clubs guy, run REALLY fast towards the arena.
If they catch onto your plan, summon another tank.

Also what the hell is Heat Guy doing right now?


Hook him up to a generator, make infinite energy.

Energy crisis, solved.

Throw the generator at him

Throw the generator at him
Also throw yourself at him
throw him like a boomerang towards the other opponents
Throw his friends at him.
Throw black hole guy at thunderhead

You throw yourself at Thunderhead. By which I mean you leap in his general direction out of the obscuring smoke and fire.

His leg is taken from him, but while Thunderhead still stands it can be regrown.

summon another tank

No problem. You've got tanks for days.

Clubs guy, run REALLY fast towards the arena

You can only run at a normal speed and lack the ability to teleport or time travel or blast yourself into the air with some kind of explosion or anything.
You don't even know where the arena is. It's probably not somewhere that's even accessible on foot.
Still, run you shall.

Also what the hell is Heat Guy doing right now?

Franz Heatguy is defending his town from a foreign invader. He's far too busy to respond to commands at the moment, and is also not a stick figure with a hat, so we will be paying him no more heed.

Heart guy, on the other hand, is gazing vacantly at the front door, which is currently being knocked upon from the other side.​


Heart guy: Answer as you are

You answer the door as you are, acting as though everything were perfectly normal.

"We have your-"
"What are you supposed to be? A demon? Where is this man's woman?"

Pay more attention to Heat Guy

We take a look at what Heatguy's up to, but not too closely. Because Heatguy is not a stick figure with a hat and therefore we will ignore him. He is very unimportant indeed and we will surely not be returning to see what he's doing ever again.

Make a propeller out of the black hole guy and fly towards the ocean

You have no idea where you would find an ocean around here. Still, fly you shall.
You grab some bits of wreckage from the ruined tank and bend them into makeshift propellor arms.

summon another tank.

You're too far away from land to deploy the tank there, so you just place it in midair and let it fall.

Tell us how Black Hole guy came to be

Black Hole guy never "came to be". Nor did any stick figure. Instead they are themselves from the future. Hang on, let me draw a diagram...

At some point in the future, every stick figure will inevitably go back in time and become their past self, either by dying and respawning in the past or through some time travel power. So there's no point at which they "come to be".
For some, that's the whole story (ignoring Limbo): Go to future, die, respawn in past, repeat. As you might expect, that's not where it ends for everyone.
See, stick figures respawn at a random time and place, so they can die any number of times before ending up back where they started. And every moment they're chasing the trail left by themselves in the future in an endless ouroboros of fate.
Of course, they can't remember the immediate future. As time passes after an event (from their perspective), they forget details of the event. After half their lifetime has passed, the event is totally forgotten. So if they live for a total of 80 years, they may or may not remember the past 40 years, but the 40 years before that (which is also the next 40 years) is guaranteed to be forgotten, and is marked in red on the diagram.​


The Village Idiot
I want some more Lore, is there a Memory Head Stickman that remembers the full 80 years. What do they look like? What do they feel?


Now go back there with your propeller and spawn a drill tank on top of thunderhead.

No need. Looks like he followed you.

I want some more Lore.

Well, there's a Fly Head stick figure who remembers his entire life. He feels eternally perplexed and dissatisfied by his situation. If he were to review his life, its score would be a zero.

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Time to start throwing tanks.

You start throwing tanks at Thunderhead, hopefully more than he can reasonably dodge.

Thunderhead counters by deploying Russia as a shield.

Fortunately for you, Russia is made of mere earth and rock. Child's play for a tank whose main feature is a drill. It begins to dawn on you that Thunderhead's defense was not particularly well thought through.

Image limit reached, continuation [here]​
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