Feedback No Name Game

[yvodlyn]

Hi everyone
I create my first level for my no name game. I wonder if someone can tell me if the level is good for a first level? Take in mind that this game will be an hard game. At first I wanted to publish a desktop demo but I just have the license for mobile publishing. So, I just take screenshots and a video
Also I would like to if it good to put checkpoints in the level?
*** In the we have to go taking the key to open the portal. when the portal is opening, we have to return back at the portal**
***more description will be available soon

first image is with view and the second one is without view

Thank you!!!

 

[obscene]

Obviously it's too hard if you can't complete it yourself.

 

[woodsmoke]

For me the core mechanics don't look fun. I'd at least change the main character to a bird or sth that can fly which would make more sense. Personally I'd go for a chicken.

 

[Stodius]

It is probably too hard if you can't complete it yourself. Maybe add a little something when you die instead of just restarting the game? Also, yellow on yellow doesn't look very good.

 

[Toque]

Character doesn’t look like it can fly when it flies. Some flight animation or different character. With a wing. Or even a jacket flapping. Make the first level easy. So people learn how to play first.

cool little game. Looks a little Christmasy.

Happy to help with your character sprite if you want. Looks like fun.

 

[yvodlyn]

Hi everyone!
For my game I would like to create a story.
But I don't know what to choose between:
1- I tell the story before I start the game (like castlevania)
2- I make a dialogue game (like undertale)

I wrote a story with a dialogue

Once upon a time...two time...three...any time... A completely normal random person fell into a mysterious hole while running throught a forest.

player : p
hologram : h
p: humm!!!!Where am I?
...!!!Don't tell me I'm in this game...!?
hum..If a flower speaks to me I know what to do.
h: Welcome random human!
p: Ah...It's not a flower. So...I'm not in this game.
h: Please eat a pill among these pills.
p: Who the f**k start a discussion like that?
h: Please eat a pill among these pills.
p: Okay...I'm gonna it one of them.
h: This pill you just ate will allow you to jump endlessly.
p: naniiii!!!!

Thank for the feedbacks!

 

[Xer0botXer0]

Maybe read a few story books as a study.. I'm sure it'll show you how characters are described and evolve over time.. as well as their wording and so on..

That Q&A sounds really awful .. I get the morphius reference, and the humor.. and the conversation portrays a character that's all over the place, doesn't have a cool head, dramatic, assumes to have table manners but in the same words shows otherwise.

Perhaps as a suggestion.. look at what the 9 or so personalities are as described by some psychologists, choose 1 and allow that depiction to be the stability of your character, from where imagine that as you did, the scenario effects the characters dialog..

The intro "once upon a time" seems to be short and unworthy of telling a player the history of your character, fell into a hole.. one imagines the hole is big or the character small, how did he fall in ? why is the hole mysterious ? A lot of books in my readings lend a hand to prevent the reader from straining themselves to imagine certain irrelevant things .. infact I believe a catchy story is one that prepares the reader in a sense as to ask a very particular question.. or to focus on particular aspects..

But I've honestly got no story telling experience or rather I haven't put in the effort to actually do a study on that field of game development just yet. So you could take this as a readers opinion rather than any form of professional opinion.