My Webcomic

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by ethian, May 25, 2019.

  1. ethian

    ethian Member

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    As i am a visual artist and i ended inspired on other webcomics like Cucumber Quest and even videogames and TV shows like Hanazuki i decided to start my own webcomic today.

    Link :

    https://properpaperpals.blogspot.com/

    What do you think about it?

    I'm just starting already, in the future you'll know and enjoy more about the story!

    Have you a nice day!
     
  2. woodsmoke

    woodsmoke Member

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    Could use a twist or something. Not that interesting yet.
     
  3. ethian

    ethian Member

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    Don't worry, things will be better on the future, i'm just already starting!
     
  4. Misu

    Misu The forum's immigrant

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    You have made a terrible mistake...

    [​IMG]
     
  5. ethian

    ethian Member

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    This made me laugh out loud for some reason...
     
    Misu likes this.
  6. RefresherTowel

    RefresherTowel Member

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    Looks interesting, nice relaxed art style. As pointed out, give the stories an unexpected twist, punchline or conflict. The second comic is better for that, but now you need to answer the question of what is the character going to do? Is she going to build a lumber mill, cut down the local forest, pulp the wood and make herself a notebook? That would be an interesting development because it is a resolution that is FAR beyond what the reader expects in this situation. I know you don't like violence, so I imagine you're not aiming for revenge or anything, but conflict and resolution do not always require violence, they do require character, motivation and some form of obstacle to overcome. Keep it up.
     
  7. Misu

    Misu The forum's immigrant

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    Ok on a serious note this time (from me).

    I'm a professional artist with many years of experience and have been making comics since childhood. You can check out my portfolio right here

    My ways of criticizing art (and this also applies to literature and videogames as well) require constructing the point of view from both, good side and horrible side. Technically I like to point out the advantages and show it as a great part of the creation. Then I roast the creator with some negative point of views that sound like a knife stabbing thru their back. That is the only way to help the creator analyze what they have done and helped them learn from their mistake, which leads to improving themselves in the future. Don't take this the wrong way; my review badges says it all on my profile signature. (not that I'm rubbing it in or anything. Just making sure you know that I'm trustworthy on some insight instead of thinking I'm a complete a** [which I may slightly be]).

    Anyway, from my point of view, there are very very very VVVVERY few advantages in this comic you made.
    For once, you have good talent on recreating depth within an image. This is shown from your first box (the image of the house). A lot of people find depths to be the most challenging part in the art (and I can admit this because I too had struggled on it). So kudos!

    The second potential you have is recreating the facial expressions to fit suitably with the type of event and dialogue. I find it great job on that part.

    Now for the downside...
    The art style sucks. Its technically MS Paint with some proportions badly adjusted. Sometimes, some depiction of your hair (YES! I'm assuming the kid in the comic is you because I want to) has it highly different in proportions from one box to another. Not to mention the hands, they are technically the cat paw hands that many mediocre child-made comics have. Anyway, at least it's cartoony, so it's alright but jeez, please try some technics that helps recreate the same image without flaws on proportions (some sort of measurement or something that can aid you into building the characters).

    The other bad thing (which sometimes I get this flaw on my comics too) is creating the proper dialogue bubble for the strip. Your way of performing them is horrible because the sizes sometimes cause the text to show slightly uncomfortable. This is due to try fitting the speech bubble away from almost any entity in the comic (including how you avoid the bubble exiting the box). Supposedly lot of great comics tend to freely place their bubbles anywhere on the page (regardless whether it blocks that one fire hydrant that has no meaning, or that one arm from the mom that won't do anything at all in the whole comic, or even placed on top of two other boxes from the strip). What matters is executing the text properly, that is all.

    And last (and worse thing about your comic), you have no plot in this story at all. Like literally,... this story is not interesting at all. It's completely dull. Every comic and scenes or pages have to end with some sort of suspense, twist, or obvious cliff hanger. This is technically a story about a kid who is bored until her robotic mom takes him to the park (The End). Common, even the Sesame Street short books have much more climax than this. You HAVE to ensure that the page or chapter ends always with some sort of mystery unfold or some sort of plot twist, or some sort of interest that makes the user highly curious of wondering what may happen next. If this supposed to be some sort of different story every page then you have done a bad job on that because I swear, if I see the next comic about you being thirsty and it ends with your mom giving you lemonade, whole thing told in very little amount of boxes, I'll flip the entire forum over and burn it.
    Aaaanyway, excellent job on the other potentials you have. Hope to see better improvements and some more comics along the way ;)
     
  8. ethian

    ethian Member

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    }
    Stay tuned on weekends.
     
  9. Cantavanda

    Cantavanda 〜Flower Prince〜

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    It's cute!
     
  10. ethian

    ethian Member

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    You Know?

    My webcomic's main characters are actually the main characters from the images of mine of this old thread of mine :

    https://forum.yoyogames.com/index.php?threads/my-game.46442/

    It shows my original game idea, that original game idea is currently the webcomic i'm showing to you, my original game idea made in early 2018 turned out as that webcomic in early/mid 2019 for some reason. My final game idea is other btw.
     
  11. Bearman_18

    Bearman_18 Member

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    It's about time paper died. Paper is over-rated. It's nice to see you making stuff, man.
     
  12. ethian

    ethian Member

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    Bearman_18 likes this.
  13. ethian

    ethian Member

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    Y'know?

    My game is cancelled because programming is complex...

    (Tells a long story)

    So, inspired in another thing, i decided to make my game a webcomic instead...
     
  14. Morendral

    Morendral Member

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    "We do these things not because they are hard but because they are super easy and don't take effort"
    -JFK, maybe
     
  15. Misu

    Misu The forum's immigrant

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    Ok first off, you are deceived by your own thoughts from reality.
    I say this because what you said is not even correct; you are only assuming them. Allow me to explain...

    I was NOT mocking your comic. I was doing a meme based on everyone else's comics performed here in the forum. It has been done with GMComicified, with Oty's comic, with GVmG's comic, and every other comic done here on the forum. It's a personal gag and tradition I do.

    Second, criticism is NOT an offense. Criticism is something that helps the person learn from their mistakes by reconstructing based on what the feedback provided. If you don't know how to accept criticism then you never gonna improve yourself. You can't just go with only positive comments, you have to seek the negatives as part of an advantage to becoming better as well. Those comments point out what you need to do to make the right adjustments to your creation. Not following them will only keep you doing the same mistake over and over.

    Another thing, I don't think anyone here, not even me, knows you had several pages that continue the comic. You should have posted the link to your site or add the missing pages into the post. You expect people gonna think you had more pages like magic? Of course not. You have to include them in your post, otherwise, they won't know.

    Also, if you try again including people (just like what you did with me) in a context that takes on them offensively, I will report you to an admin. What you just did there is not cool by me.


    PS: ARE you planning to show more of your comic at all? Its been a while and been wondering
     
  16. ethian

    ethian Member

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    For some reason, memes are mocking for me...
    I wasn't felt offended when i read your review about my comic, i know some people liked it and other didn't liked it, it's usual with anything made by someone.
    Just stay tuned clicking the link of the first part of the thread on weekends if you want to know more about my webcomic's story.
     
  17. ethian

    ethian Member

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    For some reason, i'm having fun with keeping with converting the entire original videogame idea of mine to the webcomic i'm showing to you for now.

    Want more from my webcomic? Just enter to properpaperpals.blogspot.com and stay tuned on weekends because on those days there's new pages.
     
  18. ethian

    ethian Member

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    I would like to let my webcomic famous enough to even be sold on books like Cucumber Quest did...

    Updated comic 12 July. Did you read the latest pages?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 19, 2019
    Niels likes this.
  19. K12gamer

    K12gamer Member

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    What do you use to make your comics?

    Here's a comic started by one of my 7th grade students...What do you think? LINK
    She made it by only using MS Paint and a mouse.
     
  20. ethian

    ethian Member

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    For this webcomic, i use Krita, and i also draw with the mouse, i don't need a drawing tablet.
     

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