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Forum Game Mirrorlands (Roleplaying game)

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Law, Jun 21, 2016.

  1. Mercerenies

    Mercerenies Member

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    "I... no... I don't... can you tell me what I look like?"

    The goblin-person-thing describes my appearance as sort of humanoid but with glowing red eyes that pierce the soul and two demonic horns. ((I don't want to try to do his dialogue, because I don't think I could do it the way you're doing it :p))

    "Do you know how I can get out of here? This library is so big..."
     
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  2. Law

    Law Guest

    So you guys know the next update won't be until the 5th as I'm on holiday.
     
  3. Yokcos

    Yokcos Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2016
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    I go ahead and take the puzzle box, placing it on the ground so it casts a long shadow. I then look intently at the shadow for a while.
    The shadow has been investigated.
    I check the cash register, taking whatever I can before leaving the shop to try to rob all the other shops of their money and that. Also I take a long blunt object for bludgeoning.
     
  4. roytheshort

    roytheshort The Village Idiot

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    Where?
     
  5. Law

    Law Guest

    Darsham, which is about a 30 minute drive from my home.


    It's not an incredibly exciting holiday.
     
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  6. Kousenai

    Kousenai Furry Flaebae

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2016
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    Sorry, but I'm going to have to drop out.
    Thanks for the game! Was fun while it lasted.
     
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  7. Law

    Law Guest

    No worries man, nice having you pay, your additions about crystals will stay in the story for other players :)
     
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  8. Law

    Law Guest

    A short break grew into a slightly larger one, but, we're back!

    Roy
    You pull off your peg leg and read your own mind, however there is an issue here. The peg leg immediately transfers the thoughts of whoever it points at into your own mind (via bluetooth), however pointing it at your own mind results in a positive feedback loop, causing your head to explode.

    The explosion from your head obliterates the captain's cabin. The water cooler is flung out into the ocean, the pirate costumes are covered with blood and chunks of your brain matter, and then immediately cleaned when they smash into the water three miles away.

    The peg leg embeds itself in the other ship miles away.

    Your body is launched downwards through the decks, and down into the water with such speed the water snap-boils.

    Two of the boat's three masts snap instantly, they collapse onto the third mast, snapping it too.

    The whole boat tilts to the side, getting close to tipping over, before swinging back, however the force of it's swing back, combined with the structural damage, causes the entire boat to tear messily in half in half.

    The two sides of the boat float helplessly on the water for about half a minute, then sink.

    All that's left is pieces of driftwood, the sails floating on the water, and your peg leg, rammed into the side of the boat a mile away. Floating in the water beside it is another individual who's position resembles your own. Or did resemble your own, before you blew your head off.

    Well, you really buggered that up, didn't you?

    I'm going to break it to you now, there is no heaven.

    Probably not, at the very least.

    You see the Christians believe that there is a soul, and it goes to heaven when you die. And they are half right, there is a soul, but it doesn't go to heaven.

    Maybe there is a second soul, and maybe that bit is the actual place where the consciousness rests, and maybe that bit goes to heaven. But I doubt it. That just seems like another layer of complexity, and really it's all very complex as it is.

    The thing is, people don't go to heaven when they die.

    They become goblins.


    You're alive!

    Of course, you're not really, because you're a goblin. And goblins aren't living. And no, they're not undead like a zombie either, they're just not alive, like a robot, or a pile of sand. You're one of those now. A goblin, the most idiotic, dangerous pile of soul-matter that can exist.

    You're on an empty speedboat, (and by speedboat I mean poorly built raft with a motor attached to one end) that has just been lowered into the water by a large vessel, you are on open seas, with an island nearby, and in the distance is the smoking runs of a black-sailed ship. You look down discovering to your surprise you are totally invisible.

    "Cap'tin!" Cries a disembodied voice from the raft, "Vic'cap'tin are you good? You just screamed painfully for no reason at all!"
    Objectives
    No objectives for you, you're a goblin.
    Info
    You're a goblin.

    Lukas
    Well I guess that's a reasonable option. Of the available choices: towards life rafts, swim towards shore, swim towards black-sailed ship. Most of them would result in you being detected and killed

    Staying here, on the other hand, probably won't, the curvature of the boat means an inquisitive goblin sticking his head out of the captain's window above probably wouldn't spot you, and the water, while unpleasantly cold, isn't going to cause you to freeze to death any time soon. Plus you have another thing on your side, and that is the fact that goblins are incredibly, appallingly stupid.

    While we're here I might as well tell you about goblins a little more. I like goblins. Well, I hate goblins, but I like learning about them. The same way an epidemiologist likes disease. Actually it was through learning about goblins that I finally found a thing I could be enthusiastic in, when I look at my life before then, I cannot help but wonder if I was enthusiastic about any of it, not in the same way I'm enthusiastic about goblins.

    So as I was saying, goblins are appallingly stupid, which is what makes them dangerous. This stupidity is baffling because to an untrained eye a goblin may appear to be an everyday sentient creature, one that you can have conversations with, but behind the facade of reasonable behavior lies a fundamental lack of understanding of reality that seems all the more baffling for the seeming sensibleness of the creature that possesses it, like people who don't vaccinate their children. There is a reason for the goblin's stupidity - though the same cannot be said for anti-vaccinators - goblins did not have to go through the billions of years of evolution that all other organisms on this planet were forced to go through. Instead goblins merely emerge as products of their environment, like clouds. And exactly like clouds - and you should never forget this - goblins are not alive, they are not conscious, and they do not posses a soul, or at least not the well-defined, solidified soul we humans have.

    You hear a cranking and complaining, followed by a splash as something crashes into the water on the other side of the boat. More bickering, "pull the crank!" "Where is the hoo'man? "Other side of the ship, fade!" "This way!" "What way?" "This way!" "I can't see you, can I?" "Forward, gon'edds!" "Pull the crank!" There's the sound of an engine revving.

    And then an explosion.

    The black sailed ship some distance away has detonated spectacularly, debris flying everywhere. A wooden peg leg embeds itself in the hull above you.

    There is a loud visceral scream from the other side of the boat, followed by, "Vic'cap'tin are you good? You just screamed painfully for no reason at all!"
    Objectives
    -Find a mirror
    -Evade Danger
    Info
    ...

    Merc
    "I... no... I don't... can you tell me what I look like?"

    "Like a bloo'dee scary hoo'man with these red glowin' eyes that stare right into me and these horns like a dee'mon!"

    "Do you know how I can get out of here? This library is so big..."

    "Yes yes through here," the guides you through the door he created, you're in a hallway, except there is no roof, loads of goblins like the one you met scuttle about the place, they all hold little crystals which they point at places to make things appear in them, "Hey hey!" He shouts at one of the goblins." "You don't put a shelf there we haven't put the floor up yet, you're putting the shelf on the seel'in' of the room below! Oy! Oy! Look at the pic'turrs, there's no win'do there! there's no win'do there is there? Undo that win'do!"

    "What's that!?" Cries the goblin, pointing to you.

    "I dunno don't look at it!"

    "What are you doing?"

    "Taking it outside what does it look like?"

    "You can't take that outside, we gotta tell someone!"

    "Who?"

    "I dunno, a boss!"

    "What boss? I'm the boss!"

    "Your boss!"

    "I don't have a boss!"

    "Who told you to make the libra'ree?"

    "I did I was copyin' the goo'gill map!"

    "Who's the big boss?"

    "There is no big boss, why'd you think there was a big boss?"

    "There's got to be a big boss, if there's no big boss why are we doing this?"

    "We just de'sided."

    "De'sided? I didn't de'side!"

    "That's because you're not a boss!"

    The goblin has guided you to the front door of the partially constructed library, looking around, you see you are in a village, at the top of a hill, a long road extending down in to a beach at the bottom. You recall a village like, but not necessarily exactly like this in the past. How do you remember it? ((Fill in a memory))

    The boss goblin looks at you, "I guess you ought to go now. Um, to where ever you wanted, I don't know where you're going. But you're not my prob'lim."
    Objectives
    -Find a mirror
    Info
    -You're Female
    -You're monstrous

    Yok
    Ahahah you are very clever aren't you.

    Ok, fine, you didn't investigate the mysterious spooky shadow you saw in the mirror looking behind you. But you investigated a shadow. So I guess that counts.

    You go over to the cast register and pop it open, it's full of money, but it's all flimsy like monopoly money, and the coins have the queen's head on both sides rather than just on one. Of course, you don't realize this.

    You grab a bag and fill it with all the money and random vaguely useful objects you can find, before repeating this process with all the other shops you can find. ((If you are in requirement for a specific object that you could probably find in a charity shop, feel free to spontaneously summon it from your bag with a "thank god I decided to steal [insert random object] a while back!" Note that most of the items that you collect will be defective in some subtle way.))

    This takes a while, but you are never interrupted. Apparently there isn't a single person within this town. Which you guess makes sense, if there were any people in this town they'd have noticed the defective items int he charity shops and flimsy fake money in the registers and would have fixed it by now.

    On this thievery expedition, you spot a small toy rabbit with only one ear, it reminds you of something, but what?

    You are also aware this memory is especially unpleasent and traumatic, because that's the punishment you get
    Objectives
    -Make Robert Biggs pay
    -Find a proper mirror
    Info
    -You have pure white skin
    -Robert Biggs is a villain
     
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  9. Yokcos

    Yokcos Member

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    I wonder what the rabbit with one ear could mean..?
    Obviously it is the symbol of incoming danger in some way. One-eared rabbits somehow served as a warning in my past or something? Probably best to leave that alone.

    I decide to have a look at myself in the sea, see if that serves as a mirror. Obviously the sea is due south of here so I pick a direction I assume is due south and start walking.
     
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  10. roytheshort

    roytheshort The Village Idiot

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    I look around for a peg leg in the wreckage and point it at my own head.
     
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  11. Mercerenies

    Mercerenies Member

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    I remember a village just like this one... from the days back when I was human... or when I thought I was human... I used to live there... so strange... those days are so far away... The wind rustles and jerks me out of my thoughts. I realize that since I'm heading for a beach, perhaps the water could suffice as a mirror. I continue heading toward the beach and stare down into the water.
     
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  12. Law

    Law Guest

    These updates are getting very long, I'm quite enjoying writing in this style.

    Merc
    You walk away from the strange library and down the hill towards the beach.

    The town is silent except for the cries of seagulls and the waves against the beach far away, goblins occasionally dart past, looking at you with worry, occasionally disappearing upon the sight of you, they have no footsteps, which is very strange, (there's actually a very good reason why goblins don't make footsteps, it's because they're not really real in the same way everything else is, but I'll get to that later.)

    At the base of the hill, a long road stretches parallel to the coast, beach on one side, tall cream-colored houses on the other, baking in the sun. I've never liked these south English coastal homes, packed full of windows to give as many views of the ocean as possible, I can feel the wight of the town behind them, like economic pressure held back by this towering pastel dam. It makes me feel claustrophobic, for some reason.

    But I am an anxious person. You - probably - are not, and you certainly don't stop to look at the homes, you continue straight across the empty road and onto the beach.

    The sand is stunning and soft, the waves are loud, the sun is hot. But as you look out to the horizon, you see a storm cloud approaching, and feel the air tingle with apprehension, as if accumulating static charge. There are two boats out there, in the distance, and then there is just one, because one of them blew up.

    You do a double take, wondering briefly if you miscounted. But no, you looked out to the horizon and saw two ships, and then almost the moment you noticed the second ship, it was gone, leaving it's debris scattered across the horizon. There is no sound - the explosion was too far away for you to hear it. This only really makes it weirder.

    To make something clear, because you have not experienced any other days by which to judge this one, this is a very strange day. More strange than your average day, at least.

    You're at the water, but the waves are coming in too fast for you to see your reflection. Damn.

    There's a figure here with you, not a goblin, stood about 100 meters down the beach, trying to see his reflection just like you are. He looks back at you, and you see is skin is the most brilliant snow-white.

    When he looks at you, what does he see?

    ((You have encountered Yockos, you may describe your appearance in full to him, he'll describe his appearance to you, and you may interact with him as you choose.))

    Yok
    You discard the threatening rabbit.

    My father once told me a story, it was about me, but I couldn't remember it happening. Apparently, one day, my father had managed to escape work, but my mother hadn't. This is rare, both my parents are self-employed and usually they coordinate off days, but it hadn't worked out that way, so my dad was left alone in the house with my 3 year old self. This was boring. My father would choose anything over boredom, most frequently, he chooses stress, but this time, he chose to grab his gun, interrupt me from whatever it was I watching, and take me to the car for "a trip".

    Surprisingly, I wasn't awfully bothered by this, as father parked the car outside some unkept field, "Walk out into it." He said.

    I looked bemused.

    "Go on, walk out right into the middle of the field." He urged me, smiling, "And then stand there, I've got a surprise for you."

    I complied, walking unsteadily out into the field and then standing as my father, standing on the edge, loaded his gun, pointed it in the air, and fired.

    What my father assures me were "at least 6000" rabbits erupted, like foam out of a "make your own volcano" kit, from one side of the field, and began charging across it. Seeing this cavalry charge, I screamed, and lay face down on the grass as my parents had instructed me when I asked them what i should do in the event of a bear attack ("The bear will think you are a leaf", my mother explained). The rabbits, in their bewildered fear, simply jumped over me, like a river flowing over a rock, and continued across to the other side of the field, where they disappeared.

    My father laughed hysterically right up until the moment that he saw I was crying, at which point he dropped and jogged to me (the rabbits were one by now), hugging me and saying, "Don't worry dear, it's all right, they were just rabbits."

    Apparently it was very hard to make his apology sound sincere while he was still laughing.

    When my mother came home, and inquired as to why her child had acquired the expression of a shell-shocked Vietnam veteran, my father explained. She was obviously appalled (and secretly amused) and to this day blames my father for the neurotic adult I have become.

    Not that I can remember any of this, I only remember being told that it happened.

    So anyway, you decide to head to the beach, after all, it's a wonderful day, and you'd like to see your reflection.


    You're standing on the beach, the hot sun beating down on you, the cold waves sloshing over your feet, getting under your uncomfortable sandals.

    In the distance, there are two ships, one with white sails, one with black, and behind them, an approaching cloud.

    Promptly, the black sailed ship explodes, scattering it's debris across the horizon.

    You wait, expecting to hear an explosion, but nothing arrives - the ship was too far away.

    Huh.

    You look down, and are disappointed to find that your reflection cannot be seen in the rolling water.

    But there is something else.

    A creature, a monstrous creature, is stood 100 meters down the beach from you, looking at you perplexedly. You stare back.

    What does the creature see when it looks at you?

    ((You have encountered Merc, you may describe your appearance in full to him, he'll describe his appearance to you, and you may interact with him as you choose.))

    Roy
    Goddammit.

    Do you realize how traumatic dying is, right?

    I mean I've never experienced it myself, but I've met some people who've died, and they said it was very unpleasant.

    Nobody in their right mind would, upon having their head blown up and their soul matter flung 100 meters into the head of a nearby goblin, say, "Ooh boy! I want to do that again!"

    I mean even having your soul matter moved is one of the worst experiences possible, and that's not factoring in the whole dying thing. Like even if that is all that happened, I'd still be baffled by your decision to want to do it again, but the dying on top of all that is just- I can't explain it. I'm having a rant. I'm ranting at you. Basically.

    You know I'm generally not a very angry person. My primary governing emotion is fear, not rage. I'm too busy with flighting to have much to do with fighting. But you've made me angry. You really have.

    If I could interact you in a physical manner, and wasn't just a disembodied voice in your head, I'd probably slap you.

    Ok that might be a little extreme, but I'd definitely gesture at you, a gesture that due to my poor hand-eye coordination, could become a punch. That's how angry I am.

    Whatever, I guess, do as you wish.

    You know that the ship that just lowered your raft into the water has your peg leg embedded somewhere in it, because I told you, and apparently I can tell you things that you don't know, somehow, I don't know, I was having this discussion with another of you lot actually. Anyway, you dive into the cold water (though it doesn't feel cold to you because goblins can't feel temperature unless they focus very, very hand on it) and begin swimming around the hull of the ship. The other goblins who were sharing the raft with you (who are all invisible, by the way) don't notice, because you're invisible too and you didn't splash when you fell into the water (goblins can choose not to splash when they fall into a body of water, did I mention that? It's because they're not 100% real like most physical objects (there's a lot of things to process here I know but that's what dying and getting your soul matter sucked up into a goblin is like.).).

    You swim around the hull of the ship, and on the opposite side of the hull, you encounter another individual, your peg leg is embedded in the hull above him.

    ((You've met Lukas! Lukas will describe his appearance to you, and then you may interact with him, but he can't see you and you are not disturbing the water in any way.))

    Lukas (I know you haven't yet responded to the other update, but there's been a significant change and I want to move the story forward, so I'm interpreting your lack of action as no action)
    You remain floating.

    Ok, I'm going to explain to you something that's going to a little weird but this is important because you are probably about to die.

    Above you you may notice a peg leg has embedded itself into the hull, you need to grab that, immediately. There is a goblin nearby that is hell bent on acquiring that peg leg and using it to blow himself up. Which would also kill you.

    The issue here is not only is the goblin completely invisible, it's also not interacting with the water in any noticeable way (goblins are strange) so you won't notice it until it gets hold of that peg leg, shortly after that occurs you will die. So ensure that doesn't happen and grab the peg leg now.

    However, while this goblin is looking at you, it might be worth describing what he sees.

    ((You've met Roy! Sort of. Describe what you look like to him and then you may interact with him. Bear in mind that you cannot see him and he isn't making any disturbance in the water))
     
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  13. Lukasmah

    Lukasmah Member

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    The character, who looks like a guy in a tutu because that's what he is, grabs the peg leg and inspects it, accidentally pointing it at his head.
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2016
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  14. roytheshort

    roytheshort The Village Idiot

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    I'm going to die again regardless of what I do so I just laugh.
     
  15. Law

    Law Guest

    ((This action, just so you know, will cause your head to explode))
     
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  16. Lukasmah

    Lukasmah Member

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    Nice.
     
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  17. Mercerenies

    Mercerenies Member

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    (He sees a pale woman about the size of an adult human with two horns and bright red piercing eyes. If not for the obvious demonic features, you might think she had just come from a formal event, with well-groomed, short brown hair, a formal black gown that nearly touches the sand, and bright white elbow-length gloves.)

    As he describes my appearance, I realize that I have no shoes on, which is a strange contrast to the rest of the outfit. Perhaps I left them in the library and didn't notice them when I woke up...

    Regardless, with knowledge of my appearance in hand, I begin to feel slightly less timid, even though I still don't know what I am. In a slightly more demanding tone than with the goblin but yet still slightly fearful, I ask "Where are we? I just came from a library."
     
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  18. roytheshort

    roytheshort The Village Idiot

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    Law is just going to outright destroy the peg leg to prevent us having fun.
     
  19. Law

    Law Guest

    I was the one who made the peg leg a suicide device in the first place, I can't exactly destroy it now, can I?
     
  20. Lukasmah

    Lukasmah Member

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    ohgodhe'sgoingtodosomethingmuchworse
     
  21. Law

    Law Guest

    Actually I wasn't planning on having anything bad happen to you guys, aside from dying that is.

    But now you've said that, I've had an idea...
     
  22. Law

    Law Guest

    Lukas and Roy
    Well, you're dead.

    You pointed the peg leg at your head unbeknownst to you, however, the leg was a mind reading device. And reading your own mind makes your head explode.

    Your body is pushed down into the water and crushed.

    The other one of you two (the goblin) laughs before he is vaporized.

    The peg leg is flung out into the ocean, settling, floating out far far away.

    The white sailed ship is topples over as it disintegrates, killing all the goblins inside. Not that they were really alive in the first place.

    If I could transmit the sound of a slow sarcastic clap I would, however I cannot, so instead I'll just say the word clap twice.

    Clap.

    Clap.

    Your soul matter is flung out into soul space, normally in this case, it would have been blown to smithereens too, but the high presence of goblins in this area has tossed the local soul space into a bit of a vortex. Your soul matter is swept up by and eddy and thrown, remaining mostly intact, until it is caught in the gravity of a particularly attractive individual.


    You're in the bathroom of a house, your surroundings covered with frost, a mysterious crystal blowing in your hand. Outside, the hot summer sun beats in, and the frost is beginning to melt.

    You're both in here, which is a shame, its up to you two to decide what that means. It's also worth mentioning that you're lost about 10% of your soul matter each on the journey, so you're a little less "you" than you were when you blew yourself up, hope that doesn't bother you.

    You also have no memory of ever having got here, your memories were left back in the brains you blew up. You've got a whole new set of memories, of making up in a field, finding a tall wall with a gate, braking into a town to be chased by a bull, and then ending up here, where you found a strange crystal that makes frost. ((Read Kous' updates))

    It's also worth noting that though you did manage to boot out whatever soul matter previously occupied this body, this body is still at 180% it's soul capacity. This will need to be remedied. And a simple suicide won't do it, your souls are stuck against one another now, in order to get them to break apart you'll need a violent explosion or something similar. And even then it might not work, what with the huge numbers of goblins around.

    Good luck!

    Merc and Yal (Yal is yet to respond but there has been a change so I will need to post)
    You are interrupted by the second ship exploding. This one close enough to hear, just.

    I would wonder what had caused those two ships to explode, but I already know.
     
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  23. Lukasmah

    Lukasmah Member

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    Wait, Yal?
     
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  24. Mercerenies

    Mercerenies Member

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    At the sound of the second ship exploding, I recoil back further onto the shore.

    ((I know my appearance now, so I don't really have a direct objective. Since I haven't been given a new one, I'll go ahead and make one.))

    As I step back, I notice how hot the sand actually is. Looking down at my feet, I realize that I really wish I wasn't barefoot. Since the other person at the shore isn't reacting, I elect to leave him behind and head back toward the library to see if I did in fact leave my shoes up there.
     
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  25. Yokcos

    Yokcos Member

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    As it would happen, I seem to be a tall dude in a white suit with a white coconut for a head and also a fez in classic red. This is interesting because I didn't seem to have the suit earlier. Dunno, maybe I wasn't paying attention.

    Speaking of not paying attention, seems that lass has gone somewhere while I was reminiscing about the immediate past. I blame you for this, Law. Your habit of extended reminiscing has rubbed off on me something fierce.

    I'll just back up, get off the hot sand onto some grass or concrete or something, preferably a bench, and take a seat. Watch the ships with interest, see what unfolds, see if I can make out any additional probably-pirate-related details.
     
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  26. Lukasmah

    Lukasmah Member

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    This reminds me of a situation from Tic Tac Toe... Or Sandwich Robots. Not sure anymore.
     
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  27. roytheshort

    roytheshort The Village Idiot

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    I pull down our trousers in protest at sharing a body.
     
  28. Lukasmah

    Lukasmah Member

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    I take off the shirt -II-
     
  29. roytheshort

    roytheshort The Village Idiot

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    I remove the rest of the clothes and dance.
     
  30. Law

    Law Guest

    ((So the forum's stopped doing the thing where it automatically saves drafts. So the update will be tomorrow))
     
  31. Law

    Law Guest

    ((@ Merc:Hopefully in the future people will be setting their own objectives))

    Merc
    You take off back towards the library.

    Around you goblins are frantically working, using crystals that they have in their hands to point at locations and make objects appear. The activity seems to have picked up since you were at the beach, most of the goblins aren't even paying attention to you now.

    You return to the library, already it's looking a lot more complete than it did when you left. Still no roof, however. There's two goblins arguing over a wheelbarrow full of crystals, a third goblin is summoning windows by pointing his crystal at empty patches of wall. The goblin who saved you at the start, (Or perhaps a different goblin wearing the same clothes) is stood in the doorway. He looks at you, and elects to ignore you in favor of bickering with some other goblin over a blueprint.

    I'l tell you about the library.

    I find, with these small towns, there's usually about five individuals who get this crazy idea, "Hey, this town could be the next big thing."

    "Sure" they think, "We may only have a dozen thousand inhabitants. And sure, more than 50% of our population is over the age of 60. But if we put our heads together and tried, like really tried, St.-Random-Saint-Name's / Nounbridge / Whateveritis-on-sea / Blahdenham / Llanyysywygggg could be as big as Manchester someday!"

    This is of course ignoring the fact that while Manchester may be one of the most successful, innovative, culturally rich cities outside of London, most of that cultural innovation is dedicated to discovering new reasons to stab people.

    "But how do we set our little village on the path to dominating the UK?" Ask the council, "Simple, dedicate all of our budget into making a single, vaguely modern-looking building, that inevitably ends up costing five times more than we expected, plunging our village into debt and ruins any chance ofexpansion for the next 100 years."

    The library looks like the product of that intention, of course, it isn't because you can see it being constructed by a swarm of goblins before your very eyes. In fact this entire villiage is being contructed by goblins before your very eyes. And I can tell you right now goblins have zero need for shelter, shops, stores, or libraries.
    Objectives
    Get shoes
    Info
    - "A pale woman about the size of an adult human with two horns and bright red piercing eyes. If not for the obvious demonic features, you might think she had just come from a formal event, with well-groomed, short brown hair, a formal black gown that nearly touches the sand, and bright white elbow-length gloves."
    - You remember a village like this, from when you were human...


    Yok
    The frightening woman, bored with your presence, walks away, going up a different road towards the library.

    There is no bench, but there is a meter high concrete flood wall on which the pavement sits, so you sit on that instead.

    You look out at the steaming wreckage of the boats. It's a real shame, you didn't even get to take a proper look at the boats before they blew up. There were really nice boats too, old fashioned and ornate, and now they've blown up. I hate it when you're admiring something really nice and then it suddenly explodes, it's not happened to me yet, but if it did I reckon I would hate it.

    You wonder if Rober Biggs as on that boat, the man you don't know anything about except you have a vague desire to make him pay. You wonder if there is a way to try and find something else about him, a library, or some records office. I don't now where village like this keep these kinds of offices. Maybe in some kind of village-hall like building? I guess that's what village halls are for. I actually don't know. I lived in a tiny little village with a village hall for years and I still don't know what the purpose of the village hall is. I think they're meant to be used for social events but our hall was controlled by this group of angry old women who would only let the quakers use it. Even the AA couldn't use our hall. An internet cafe would work too - if there is one here. If you don't know what the internet is then don't bother. I could explain to you how the internet works, but the interactions I have had with my aunt suggest that may be impossible.

    You notice a "thwump thwump thwump"ing in the distance. Benches are appearing on the pavement, one by one, out of thin air, each one close than the last. A bench appears behind you, and then the benches continue out into the distance

    You look back to where the benches came from. Lampposts are also appearing, one by one, evenly dotting the pavement, each one closer.
    Objectives
    -Make Robert Biggs pay
    Info
    -You have pure white skin
    -"I seem to be a tall dude in a white suit with a white coconut for a head and also a fez in classic red. This is interesting because I didn't seem to have the suit earlier."
    -Robert Biggs is a villain


    Roy and Lukas
    Great, now you're cold and also naked.

    I am beginning to feel this might not be a happy marriage.

    My friend Jack once went to couples therapy. It was quite unusual for a young guy like himself, but him and this woman were very close, and they wanted to try and work out their problems. Unfortunately their problems mostly revolved around me and Jack's goblin hunting escapades, which it was not possible to explain to the therapist, so instead they lied, and said that Jack was a businessman who had to travel around a lot. Unfortunately, over the course of a few sessions it became apparent that Jack was not a businessman, the therapist got angry at them for lying to her, and she decided that she could not council for them. Their couple's therapist broke up with them. The relationship didn't last an awful lot longer after that.

    The life of a goblin hunter is a solitary one.

    Anyway, continue doing whatever it is you think you are doing. At least you wandering around a frosted house with no clothes on is an improvement on blowing everything up.
    info
    -You're athletic
    -This crystal is special
    Objectives
    Escape this body
     
  32. roytheshort

    roytheshort The Village Idiot

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2016
    Posts:
    72
    Find the gas stove.
     
    Law likes this.
  33. Mercerenies

    Mercerenies Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2016
    Posts:
    129
    Taking an interest in the crystals, I take one of them as I pass by, only to realize that I have no pockets. I hold the crystal firmly in my fist, trying to keep it out of sight as I locate the place where I woke up and see if my shoes are there.
     
  34. Lukasmah

    Lukasmah Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2016
    Posts:
    22
    Freeze to death.
     
  35. Law

    Law Guest

    You probably wont freeze to death unfortunately, the house is covered with frost for some inexplicable reason, but it's a warm summers day and that frost is thawing. If you want to freeze to death you'll have to explain how you're going to achieve that.
     
  36. Lukasmah

    Lukasmah Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2016
    Posts:
    22
    Well, that's cheating.
     
  37. Yokcos

    Yokcos Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2016
    Posts:
    37
    "Ayyy, free benches!"
    I look around for anyone that looks like they're responsible for this abnormal phenomenon. If there is such a person or being that can be communicated with, I go ahead and run up to it and ask for a sofa. If there is no such person about, I have a bit of a sit down on one of the benches, have a wee rest, then go walk about town in search of information, possibly on the topic of the villainous Mister Biggs.
     
  38. Law

    Law Guest

    Yok
    The creator of the unusual bench is no where to be found.

    You feel like you are being watched - which you are. However the fact that you are, in fact, being watched is not why you feel watched, you're not psychic, probably, you don't have eyes in the back of your head and even if you did it wouldn't matter because your watchers are invisible. The reason for that feeling of being watched is to do with how chaotic the soul-space is with all these goblins around, your souls being pulled in all directions, resulting in a strange feeling of unease. It's how me and my friend Jack hunt goblins actually, by training that sixth sense.

    That and the GobDetector 3.6.

    Anyway, no one turns up. So you decide to check out the town, following the frightening woman.

    You're in a town square, the feeling of being watched is extremely strong here. You can see a modern-looking library, which appears to be half-constructed. Outside of which are wheelbarrows full of crystals. There is also a town hall, which is visibly leaning to the side, against surrounded by wheelbarrows full of crystals. The town hall would probably have some records in it if Mr. Biggs was a resident of this town. Finally there are assortments of random shops, including a Maplin if you want some electronics, a cafe with a "FREE WIFI" sign, and a Waitrose, where you could get some food if you feel hungry.


    Merc
    You swipe the crystal and head into the library, walking straight past the "leader" goblin who saved you at the start of this fiasco, he's too involved in his argument to care.

    I think we take architecture for granted sometimes. We take it as a given that - upon walking into a room - all of the exits should be obvious. That important looking doors should lead to important rooms. That all hallways don't just come to dead ends. When you take these rules away and give your blueprint to a gang of green-skinned fools, the result is a ridiculous maze of mismatching doorways and drunkenly twisting corridors, containing but not limited to:
    -A room containing nothing but wheelbarrows filled with books, crystals, or a mixture of the two.
    -A room where the ceiling has collapsed and bookshelves and carpet have been placed on top of the rubble to make it look intentional.
    -A room devoted to a single crystal of quartz that won't stop screaming.
    -A room where the books have been places horizontally in the shelves not vertically (this is less remarkable, but very annoying)
    -Urinals on EVERY available wall.

    Eventually, you find the room you originated from, arguably the least hectic room of the library. The books have all been returned to the shelves, and a comfortable green chair has been placed next to the lamp in the middle of the room. Sitting on the chair, facing away from you, is the leader goblin. He must have found his way here while you were lost in the library. He's staring at the blueprint and appears to be sobbing, he's also nearly twice as big as he was just a few minutes ago, and is glowing a faint red.

    You seem to be a sensitive person, at least for a daemon, but I'm going to give you a solid warning, it's probably best to leave this guy alone. There is no footwear here, if you go back into town there are some shops I can direct you to that will have some shoes in. Just don't stay here, this goblin is clearly agitated and an agitated goblin is very dangerous, at the best it could attack you, at the worst it could talk to you, and imbue you with the very dangerous and false notion that goblins can think.

    So as I said, there will be shops in town, maybe even a Clarks, and there aren't any humans around so you can just take pairs of shoes totally for free. Hell, take multiple pairs of shoes, wear shoes on your hands if you want to. There are a lot of shoes, but not here.

    Roy and Lukas
    You head downstairs. Which is not covered in frost, and find a gas stove.

    You hear a sound outside, and walk up to one of the windows to check.

    There is a large, extremely angry looking bull stood outside the window, about to charge through and attack you.

    Of course, you remember this bull as the one that chased you (and by you I mean the soul who used to occupy your body) around this little village after you rid it to break through a gate an get in.

    He seems very angry, but all bulls seem angry, this bull is extra angry because it - like most animals - can sense there is something seriously wrong with the amount of soul in your body. I told you this double-soul thing was going to upset you, and here it is upsetting you, by making a bull that already didn't like you very much, absolutely livid and determined to kill you.

    So anyway, you're stood in a front room, with only these huge, beautiful windows between you and a million tonnes of vicious murder-beef.

    Any because I'm feeling generous, I'll make "escape the bull" an objective for you.
     
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  39. Lukasmah

    Lukasmah Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2016
    Posts:
    22
    Escape the bull.

    Who said actions need to be specific?
     
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  40. Law

    Law Guest

    I feel like you are trying to anger me
     
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  41. roytheshort

    roytheshort The Village Idiot

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2016
    Posts:
    72
    I run towards the bull.

    Who said we needed to follow objectives?
     
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  42. Mercerenies

    Mercerenies Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2016
    Posts:
    129
    Hm... on the one hand, that voice in my head hasn't steered me wrong yet. On the other hand, it is a voice in my head, so that should beget some caution... well, either way, talking to an angry goblin won't get me a pair of shoes.

    I retrace my steps and head back outside. Mr. Voice, tell me where I can find a shoe store, like you promised.
     
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  43. Mercerenies

    Mercerenies Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2016
    Posts:
    129
    I'mma go ahead and bump this one, since it's been a short while. Law, this still going on?
     
  44. Law

    Law Guest

    Spent a week visiting my grandparents, went to the houses of parliament! Messaged my Londoner mate to brag about this, he said, "Oh yeah, I haven't been to the houses of parliament in like a whole year". Bloody Londoners.

    Anyway, update coming today.
     
  45. Lukasmah

    Lukasmah Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2016
    Posts:
    22
    What about tea with the queen?
     
  46. Law

    Law Guest

    Official Tea With The Queen day got cancelled about a decade ago because Elizabeth is getting too old. But we still have Form A Queue With The Queen day, that was last November. My family arrived late so we ended up near the back of the queue, in Scotland, but it was still a good day, it's nice when the entire country comes together for a national pastime.
     
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  47. roytheshort

    roytheshort The Village Idiot

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2016
    Posts:
    72
    Britain Fact: Queuing day used to be called Quentin day, after Quentin, inventor of the queue. Quentin was so dedicated to the art of queuing he could form a queue with one person while listening to the sound of one hand clapping.
     
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  48. Law

    Law Guest

    Merc
    One of you passed some charity shops with some shoes in them. Let me take you there.


    As I had established to another one of you lot, the charity shop is the flesh of the small English town, especially a coastal one like this one. The blood of small English coastal towns are the elderly, who flow to the shops, purchasing useless tat with money (gas exchange) before returning back to their homes (the lungs), were they find this month's retirement cheque.

    To continue this metaphor, the heart is the telly, for the positioning of the soap operas dictates the structure of most elderly English people's day, and the immune system is the broadsheets, most notably the Daily Mail, who make sure to keep the village an hostile place for foreign invaders.

    You are in the Salvation Army, one of the dozen or so charity shops along this road, a beige-walled box, completely devoid of people or goblins, and full of old clothes, videos, books (all with names for titles like the one you saw in the library) and most notably, a pair of bright blue trainers.

    Ok, I can see clearly you are a sophisticated monsteress, and these trainers clash horribly with your outfit, however, they are the best I can offer. Further inspection of the town may reveal more fashionable footwear hidden away, (I only know of this pair because I have seen them before - which does raise the question, can I only see the things you see? Or can you only see the things I tell you you can see? I'm not sure, and as my friend Jack used to say, "If a question doesn't have a clear answer, stop asking it. There are a lots of things out there that we don't know, that are easy to find out, the things we don't know that are hard to find out, those can wait, as far as I'm concerned". To be fair he did say this while drunk and angry at an episode of Sherlock but I still think it's a fair point), go looking for more fashionable shoes if you so please, but you probably wont find them.

    Which brings me to another point, examining this shop will reveal to you that most of the items here are flawed in small but spectacular ways, there's a jigsaw of the Chinese flag, a teapot without a handle, a bra with FAR to much space between the cups, etc. These trainers are no exception, they don't have lace holes, so not only are they ugly they will also be quite uncomfortable to wear. All the shops in this town are like this, I'm afraid.

    Then you see something.

    One of the books on the bookshelf, SUSAN WORMWOOD, you recognize that name.

    But who was she? And why do you know her?
    Objectives
    ...
    Info
    - "A pale woman about the size of an adult human with two horns and bright red piercing eyes. If not for the obvious demonic features, you might think she had just come from a formal event, with well-groomed, short brown hair, a formal black gown that nearly touches the sand, and bright white elbow-length gloves."
    - You remember a village like this, from when you were human...

    Roy and Lukas
    You attempt to escape the bull.

    Unfortunately, you cannot attempt to escape the bull without actually specifying how you are going to do it. That's like trying to will oneself to write a play without having any idea what the play is going to be about, you cannot do that, because while the idea of writing a play might at first seem like a quite simple transition from being a person who has not written a play to a person who has written a play, the steps in between, specifically writing individual lines for each character and such, turn out to require some thought.

    That said, I had an ex-girlfriend who considered herself a bit of an amateur playwright, and I read something she had written once - if it were possible to simply will oneself into making a play, I'm almost certain that's what the outcome would be, her play was the literary equivalent of not being able to fit a chair through your front door and pushing so hard that the legs snap off.

    Anyway, none of this matters, because you immediately change your mind. Charging straight at the bull, crashing through the window in a spectacular (and very painful) confetti-spray of broken glass.

    This works!

    It is often said that most animals are most afraid of you than you are of them, and if this is not the case, make it so. The bull, startled by your display of stupidity, takes a concerned step back. You have not yet established completely dominance over the bull, but you have certainly shook his confidence.
     
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  49. Lukasmah

    Lukasmah Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2016
    Posts:
    22
    I need my list of objectives. How am I supposed to know what to avoid doing?
     
  50. Law

    Law Guest

    My apologies, the objective is still to escape the bull.
     

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