Feedback Is this too cramped?

Zizka

Member
Hello guys,
So my game is a 'choose your own adventure' game. You read about your current situation and then make choices as to what you want to do next. So there's a lot of reading to be done basically.

Anyhow, I'd like to know if you guys feel like this is too cramped:


There isn't anything on top yet but this is where the player token will be displayed in the game world.

At the moment, I feel like the lines are too short as only about 5 words can fit on one, which means a lot of pages to flip through for the player which I don't think is fun. I've checked a few books around my house and most hold a minimum of around 10 words per sentence.

I'd like to know what you guys think about it before I make some changes (every time I change something I have to spend more money on programming so I want to make as few alterations as possible).

As usual your feedback is valued.

E.
 

kupo15

Member
It might be, though wondering why there is so much empty space above you could use for to make it bigger? I think the amount of words per page you have is fine. I would tend to favor more pages to flip through over less but with a huge wall of text. That could be daunting to read maybe.
 
Far too cramped, especially for an adventure game with a lot of text. You've got plenty of space to expand horizontally and vertically. It helps show just how small the space is it if you use two colors to visualize where the player will be spending the majority of their time looking at:
screenshot(16).png

Also, as a warning, please DO NOT EVER use the words "choose your own adventure" to market or describe your game. Chooseco, the publisher of the Choose Your Own Adventure series of books, is very litigious and has been suing companies from Netflix to Jeep for using the term, as well as issuing takedown notices for indie games.
 

Toque

Member
I love the choose your own adventure books back in the day. But yes its a trade mark title.
 

Zizka

Member
Alright, I just spent a couple of hours re-working the whole thing. I won't list all the changes, they're fairly minor but noticeable in my opinion.

In the previous version, I had room for 78 words, in this one, I can fit 142. The font is also smaller of course but I wasn't planning on using the first version of the font, it was a test font. I'm not saying I'll end up using the font in the second version but it's closer to what I'm looking for. I think it might be a tad too small.



I'd say I'm *pretty* happy about the changes but I won't be making the mistake of making hasty decisions anymore. I'll take some time to get feedback before asking the programmer to make the changes.
 

Zizka

Member
If you have any nitpicks, anything at all, don’t hesitate. Anything even a detail is welcomed.
 

JackTurbo

Member
New version is much better!

For print and web design the general consensus is that 50-60 characters is the ideal line length for optimal reading conditions. Looks like you're still a bit under that, but in the context of a game I think that's probably ok
 

Lance Klepp

Member
Can the book not be central bottom? That gap on the right just bugs me a little due to being thicker than the left.

Is that background colour behind the book a part of your theme? Just seems like you could use a lighter shade of purple instead as it can be distracting whilst reading the information.

One last nitpick... This is just an opinion so take this lightly.... Do you need to write out that much background info? Or in a better phrase, can you rewrite that section so there's less words and then in turn you can up the font size a touch or make it Bold.

I could be wrong but I find it hard to read. Maybe full screen isn't so bad but just from the image above... A bit of a challenge to read.

Overall, visually it looks good, you've got a good color pallet and theme. It's just subtleties that'll make it better now.
 

Red Phantom

Member
I love the choose your own adventure books back in the day. But yes its a trade mark title.
Oh wow I absolutely love Choose Your Own Adventure books, I still have them. This is such a fun concept!

Also did you do the graphics yourself? In my opinion they're preeeetty impressive : )
 

Zizka

Member
The reason why the book was centered was because I had intended to have the battle take place on the right side of the book but it did look off, thanks for pointing that out. I'll figure something out for the battle system.

So I've centered the book and removed the header. Since the menus are separated in tabs (narrative, inventory, battle and options) and the selected tab is highlighted, having a header felt like overkill and a waste of space.

I've swapped health and energy around to have health on top, that's usually the way things are in games and it bothered me.

I've made animations when 'hearts/energy' is loss/recovered otherwise I feel it would've look a bit on the cheap side.

Ex:

(the pixels on top mesh with the paper background that's why the pixels outside seem like stray pixels here).

@Red Phantom: I mean the 'Fighting Fantasy' kind of books, that's the one I read as a kid. Glad other people were into that too.


@Lance Klepp : Regarding the font, I've spent at least 3 hours trying to font a font without AA which is not too small so that it's hard to read but not too big so that only a few words can fit on a line. It's not easy to find. A few tests to give a better idea:

 

Lance Klepp

Member
This menu system you've setup is really interesting. I admire the concept.

Book centred and symmetrical. Much better!

Fonts are a pain. From the styles above, Alagard is too much, Venice is good but too spread out, Monotype is about right but the last two words can easily be misread but it's a close second with MV Boli.

Personally I like the Venice classic. If you can find similar fonts to that then my advice would be to head down that isle and see if you can get something suitable.

Really great effort from yourself, keep on keeping on! Ha.
 
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