Confession Thread

I can relate. As of 26th, May 2018 I had officially stopped game development and programming in general making Casino Bundle is the last asset that I'll (ever?) make.

Just like what @Misu said, it was mentally draining. I don't mean programming was that bad, after all I've developed my English and math skills and I got to admit it had changed the way I look into problems, making every solution possible.

I recently started being ashamed of telling people that I am a programmer. I remember when I was 12 I was boasting about it, but now I've seen much "cooler" jobs/hobbies, whether it is seeing my little brother performing cool magic tricks (as a hobby), or seeing my older brother half way down in pharmacology college, it makes me want to pursue a better future for myself.

Programming is a dead-end job (at least for me), I remember staying up late fixing a stupid bug, or waking up at 5:00 AM and sleeping at 2:00 AM creating an eCommerce website that died 3 months after its release, not because I didn't put too much effort on it but because it wasn't meant for me. I remember working for 3 days straight to finish a failed HTML5 game, sent them to publishers and got 21 rejection messages, did the same thing 3 times more and got 3 more 21 rejection messages.


Then after I decided to stop game development, I felt free, light-weighted, I finally have the time for myself, I can finally watch a movie or play a game without feeling guilty about it. I can finally not worry about hosting fees or not having enough money to develop anything. I found freedom. Giving up on programming was freedom.

This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.
Absorbs life force.
Yesssss. Give me your power, GMC!! Game development is hard! Just lay down and rest - it'll all be over soon! >=D

Nah, just kidding. I just had a really depressing ****ty few months, too. Finally snapping out of it and working on my game again. Feels like I'm walking into a nice warm field after crawling around in a dark cave for almost half a year.
Never say never though, everybody. If you're feeling down on gamedev, take a break! Don't decide you're done forever though, unless you really just don't enjoy it anymore. And if you really don't enjoy it anymore, before quitting for good, I think it's best to ask yourself why you don't enjoy it anymore. I find it hard to believe that people who've worked so hard on a creative outlet like making games can suddenly just stop liking it one day. If you're not enjoying game dev anymore, it's probably got more to do with outside factors or how you're approaching game dev than the actual act of game development itself. Reflect a bit and then come back later if possible! ):
 

Posh Indie

Member
I'll confess that every time someone quits the GMC I absorb their energy and become even more powerful. My ultimate goal is to leech everyone here's life force until the entire population of the GMC is gone. Then it'll just be me here, reigning over a dark kingdom inhabited solely by the skeletons and dried husks of defeated game developers, crafting the best game ever made using the souls of every GMCer who couldn't go on anymore and relented to their fate.

I'm like a vampire, but for videogames. :'D
I am like the cat from Coraline; you cannot get rid of me and I will continue to pass through. At least you will always have company!
 
G

Guest User

Guest
Absorbs life force.
Yesssss. Give me your power, GMC!! Game development is hard! Just lay down and rest - it'll all be over soon! >=D

Nah, just kidding. I just had a really depressing ****ty few months, too. Finally snapping out of it and working on my game again. Feels like I'm walking into a nice warm field after crawling around in a dark cave for almost half a year.
Never say never though, everybody. If you're feeling down on gamedev, take a break! Don't decide you're done forever though, unless you really just don't enjoy it anymore. And if you really don't enjoy it anymore, before quitting for good, I think it's best to ask yourself why you don't enjoy it anymore. I find it hard to believe that people who've worked so hard on a creative outlet like making games can suddenly just stop liking it one day. If you're not enjoying game dev anymore, it's probably got more to do with outside factors or how you're approaching game dev than the actual act of game development itself. Reflect a bit and then come back later if possible! ):
Life is the main reason, whether it is school or social life, or even your health life. After 6 years of programming and more than 7 hours of sitting on a chair programming, I am finally paying the price, whether it is a strict diet or working out till my muscle burns.

I love programming, and it is the only thing that I love... but sometimes I want to pursue music! or...singing! or acting! or even an author, I want to try all these things and I know very much that programming holds me back.

I remember when I was 6 years old (6 years before starting programming) I was a talented woodworker, I used to build all kinds of swords, bows, crossbows, catapults, and many more out of wood. I used to make movies before programming, drawing frame by frame a cartoon using MS Paint. And I was acting a lot (I still have recordings of my silly 10 year old acting), and I used to play lots of games.

But then after I've encountered GameMaker, my life had changed. Everything started to revolve around GameMaker, nothing else, no acting, no woodworking, no singing or playing, just game development. It was awesome at beginning (You know, super young and no responsibilities) but after I started getting more responsibilities I knew there was someday (which is 2018) to give up game development.

I knew it since then that I will give up programming eventually... counting down to that day was the real torture. But now since the day has finally come, I feel happy, no more counting down. No more counting down. Just... no more counting down.
 

Amon

Member
I guess I can confess this now. While owning the greatest computer known to man, the Commodore 64, I went near... OK, OK, OK..... I played with a Spectrum. Only one time though but I was thinking of my Commodore the whole time.
 

Misty

Member
I confess I don't wish to confess to any of the wicked things I have done, most of which I haven't the slightest guilt or remorse for whatsoever.
 

Misty

Member
I'll confess that every time someone quits the GMC I absorb their energy and become even more powerful. My ultimate goal is to leech everyone here's life force until the entire population of the GMC is gone. Then it'll just be me here, reigning over a dark kingdom inhabited solely by the skeletons and dried husks of defeated game developers, crafting the best game ever made using the souls of every GMCer who couldn't go on anymore and relented to their fate as blood-catalysts in my black rituals.



...I'm like a vampire, but for videogames. :'D
Not if I feast on their souls first.

I confess that I legitimately love almost every game on here, and that browsing the Sandbox for super crappy games used to be one of my favorite things ever. I love the "GameMaker"ness of these terrible hobby projects. The more esoteric/broken/weird they are, the better. I'll always resent YoYo for killing the sandbox. Me and my little bro (mostly my little bro - he's a hero) spent *hours* downloading hundreds of Sanbox games during the service's final days. This collection is now one of our greatest treasures, hahah! :'D

There's just something so good about the weird crap people come up with when they have absolutely no clue what they're doing.

I also genuinely think some of the projects here have potential, too, but I *really* love the janky, beautiful garbage complete amateurs come up with. Feels like a universe of potential in every game. Really cool to me!
Truth.
 

Bentley

Member
I think furries are hot.

Confession 2: I edited this post from "Furries turn me on" b/c I didn't like the phrase "turn me on" for some reason.
 

Bearman_18

Member
@amusudan ive done that too.
I confess I'm racist against humans. Including myself. Not including Jesus. Who is part God anyway.

I confess I really want to feed the troll. And barely can contain it.

I confess nuts goner is my knew favorite phrase, and I will use it.

@RichHopelessComposer please make a youtube vid where you play those crappy games and comment. I also love games like that.

I "confess" I listen to Jordan Peterson.
 
T

Thunder Lion

Guest
I confess I want to make a game really bad but inventory systems bore the crap out of me...but I admit that I am learning to use my old engines to skip all the busy work of many things. So far I got a working inventory memory...now I have to convince myself I won't go on my PC and waste hours on Overwatch while making my game in the background between matches...
I also play video games to hide from my family sense I really don't like how they view me. I'm not competitive but they are and it makes me depressed. Video games are boring...but they let me ignore life....
I also try to convince myself that I don't want kids or a gf/wife because I fear that my family will gain control over my wife and children and that my life will revolve around them but offer me nothing back (meaning them doing good by me for my sake), I also fear being divorced and losing my kids...
 
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Simon Gust

Member
I confess that I love to use the word "gay" as an adjective for something that is either negative or positive.
I am not actually gay and most importantly not a homophobe even if I sound like one.
 

Barvix

Member
I find it hard to believe that people who've worked so hard on a creative outlet like making games can suddenly just stop liking it one day. If you're not enjoying game dev anymore, it's probably got more to do with outside factors or how you're approaching game dev than the actual act of game development itself. Reflect a bit and then come back later if possible! ):
bruh that's me. i feel personally attacked

(just gonna pop in here every few months with updates on me since it seems like as good of place as any)

I confess I still can't do gamedev. I have made attempts to get back into it, but only for short bursts (I'll get into that in a bit). I am "designing" a game . . . whether or not I will get out of the small design stage is anyone's best guess. It's not even a big game. It's just focused on one tiny mechanic that is also centered around the art style. Chances it will be anything more: probably close to 0

And like my good friend said (I consider him a friend. Hopefully it's not a 1 way street lol), a bunch of outside factors (most I mentioned last time) were affecting me doing gamedev. Reflected a lot on them - and the main things that keep me from going on are just time (family stuff) and carpal tunnel.

Also back to that short burst thing I mentioned earlier. I got some good news - I am not depressed! Turns out I am actually bipolar. And if your parents have something like bipolar you are more likely to develop bipolar in your lifetime. Who knew? so yeah that's what's going on with me.

Too long; didn't read

I still try every now and then to do gamedev but can't, usually because of family or health reasons. Mistook bipolar for depression, which apparently is common according to one of the doctors I visited. So yeah, see y'all in November or something lol. Maybe by then I can finally do gamedev again.

edit: for those reading this in the future and might be in the same boat as me - try to find something you love. like a new hobby. for me I've been getting into reading Marvel comic books and tried getting into sketching/drawing, mainly comic book characters like Moon Knight and Spider-Man. Getting a hobby or new hobby to fill the void of Gamedev will help keep your mind sharp and keep your productive. Doing nothing will just throw you into a deep slump that is hard to get out of.
 
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I still make assets :)
Yesssss. It might sound silly, but I was worrying about you literally like two or three days ago. Or a week ago. Time's a blur for me lately. Anyway, I checked your profile and was like "ugh, he's been gone like two months? Maybe he really quit? ): "

And suddenly, you're back! That's great! Welcome back! =D
 
G

Guest User

Guest
Yesssss. It might sound silly, but I was worrying about you literally like two or three days ago. Or a week ago. Time's a blur for me lately. Anyway, I checked your profile and was like "ugh, he's been gone like two months? Maybe he really quit? ): "

And suddenly, you're back! That's great! Welcome back! =D
Thanks so much, man!

I really missed this forum, I just been really focusing on studying, you know, last year of school and I really trying to get into college :D Wish me luck!
 

amusudan

Lousiest of Potatoes
I'm a drummer, and I like to think I'm pretty good, but when I perform I always get really sweaty hands.

Out of the three times I've performed I've dropped a drumstick every time, once I flung it into the audience.
 

Simon Gust

Member
I'm a drummer, and I like to think I'm pretty good, but when I perform I always get really sweaty hands.

Out of the three times I've performed I've dropped a drumstick every time, once I flung it into the audience.
oh hey, I am also a drummer!

I also get sweaty hands but I have not dropped a stick before because of it. The reason must be that I have to play more quietly as I play in a rather small brass band (and there are 3 of us on percussion).

What kind of sticks to you use? I guess if you use more natural materials (wood instead of plastics / wood + plastic coating) it could help your grip.
 

amusudan

Lousiest of Potatoes
oh hey, I am also a drummer!

I also get sweaty hands but I have not dropped a stick before because of it. The reason must be that I have to play more quietly as I play in a rather small brass band (and there are 3 of us on percussion).

What kind of sticks to you use? I guess if you use more natural materials (wood instead of plastics / wood + plastic coating) it could help your grip.
Just wooden sticks, and yeah I do have to really bash on my drums because I really only play rock haha
 

Misty

Member
I think furries are hot.

Confession 2: I edited this post from "Furries turn me on" b/c I didn't like the phrase "turn me on" for some reason.
I confess that furries used to turn me on, but not anymore so.

I also confess that Kepons avatar makes me laugh.

I confess that I badly want to give people hugs, but I can't because I am trapped inside of the internet.
 
T

Thunder Lion

Guest
I secretly want to just pay a bunch of people to make my dream games real....one project in particular rings to mind. Once I'm out of school i think I'll invest in that idea to create that game. Be on the lookout guys for work in about 1.5 years time.

I'll need you all to have Skype, Game Maker Studio 2 (for coders), I will need a video editor, voice actors (for every character in the game, which isn't a lot but might go in the high 50s), I will need sound designers, music composers, those with basic online coding for like special event banners and leaderboards and 2 player mission mode, I will also need an associate manager with coding skills and general art skills, story board designers, etc. it will be a complete creation from me but everyone on the story team will contribute....CAMP LIVER YOU WILL BE MADE!!!!
 

Sk8dududu

Member
I confess that I sell drugs, have accidentally ruined peoples lives, and my family is disappointed in me because I get body modifications every few weeks and I make fun of their God everyday. Welcome to chronic depression, how can I let you down? ❤
 

Cantavanda

〜Flower Prince〜
I confess that I sell drugs, have accidentally ruined peoples lives, and my family is disappointed in me because I get body modifications every few weeks and I make fun of their God everyday. Welcome to chronic depression, how can I let you down? ❤
150XP acquired. LEVEL UP.
NEW PERK: "Dad is disappointed", +20 damage with Occult weapons, +15% extra status effects when taking "potions"
 

ethian

Member
Ok, time to my confession!

(Piano music plays at the background...)

I'm a teenager that detests and fears vulgarity.

And i enjoy with Children's shows on Children's Channels on Satelital TV at home...

They're better than those TV-14 and TV-MA junk that includes F and S words uncensored...

I enjoy with TV-Y to TV-PG that are free of F and S words.

And i detest and fear uncensored F and S words.

Also, one of the children's shows that i watch on TV is not Paw Patrol, but is Ranger Rob.

Also, i feel nervousness that i like to feel with men monster feet with sharp claws on the toes... and unbare men legs wearing stirrups but no shoes...

And i end hugging them all...

I also feel that nervousness with certain villians that... makes me imagine them do kung fu...

And i end dancing by them...

Those villians are the Nuts Goners...

Want to see them? It's here:

https://forum.yoyogames.com/index.php?threads/reboot-nuts-goners.50789/


(Please don't make any fun of me because of all this!)
 
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Sk8dududu

Member
Ok, time to my confession!

(Piano music plays at the background...)

I'm a teenager that detests and fears vulgarity.

And i enjoy with Children's shows on Children's Channels on Satelital TV at home...

They're better than those TV-14 and TV-MA junk that includes F and S words uncensored...

I enjoy with TV-Y to TV-PG that are free of F and S words.

And i detest and fear uncensored F and S words.

Also, one of the children's shows that i watch on TV is not Paw Patrol, but is Ranger Rob.

Also, i feel nervousness that i like to feel with men monster feet with sharp claws on the toes... and unbare men legs wearing stirrups but no shoes...

And i end hugging them all...

I also feel that nervousness with certain villians that... makes me imagine them do kung fu...

And i end dancing by them...

Those villians are the Nuts Goners...

Want to see them? It's here:

https://forum.yoyogames.com/index.php?threads/reboot-nuts-goners.50789/


(Please don't make any fun of me because of all this!)
I'm confused. I don't understand the reference of irony..
 

Simon Gust

Member
Ok, time to my confession!

(Piano music plays at the background...)

I'm a teenager that detests and fears vulgarity.

And i enjoy with Children's shows on Children's Channels on Satelital TV at home...

They're better than those TV-14 and TV-MA junk that includes F and S words uncensored...

I enjoy with TV-Y to TV-PG that are free of F and S words.

And i detest and fear uncensored F and S words.

Also, one of the children's shows that i watch on TV is not Paw Patrol, but is Ranger Rob.

Also, i feel nervousness that i like to feel with men monster feet with sharp claws on the toes... and unbare men legs wearing stirrups but no shoes...

And i end hugging them all...

I also feel that nervousness with certain villians that... makes me imagine them do kung fu...

And i end dancing by them...

Those villians are the Nuts Goners...

Want to see them? It's here:

https://forum.yoyogames.com/index.php?threads/reboot-nuts-goners.50789/


(Please don't make any fun of me because of all this!)
L E G E N D A R Y
 

Cantavanda

〜Flower Prince〜
I even enjoy watching kids videos on YT, those extremely low budget, poorly edited and weird ones. There's something mesmerising and hypnotic about them. And of course much more to little toddlers, no wonder some of these have hundreds of millions of views, sometimes billions
 

ethian

Member
I even enjoy watching kids videos on YT, those extremely low budget, poorly edited and weird ones. There's something mesmerising and hypnotic about them. And of course much more to little toddlers, no wonder some of these have hundreds of millions of views, sometimes billions
I don't watch what you watch...

I said i watch children's channels from satelital tv instead...

But i don't watch the ones that are too much for kids (Baby TV, for example).. I watch the ones that are not so for kids after all... ratings are TV-Y7, TV-Y7-FV and TV-PG... But never TV-14 and TV-MA.
Well, after all, i watch TV-Y shows... But not so much...
Sometimes i get embarassed by myself by doing this...
 

Cantavanda

〜Flower Prince〜
Do you like TEEN TITANS GO! ? It's very addicting. Also Adventure Time, Regular Show, and Gumball.

But I really really dislike those sitcoms made for preteens that all rip off each other. The girls are cute yes but they have terrible personalities written for them. I do love iCarly, Victorious, Zack&Cody, Drake&Josh though.
 

TsukaYuriko

🌠
Forum Staff
Moderator
Ok, time to my confession!

(Piano music plays at the background...)

I'm a teenager that detests and fears vulgarity.

And i enjoy with Children's shows on Children's Channels on Satelital TV at home...

They're better than those TV-14 and TV-MA junk that includes F and S words uncensored...

I enjoy with TV-Y to TV-PG that are free of F and S words.

And i detest and fear uncensored F and S words.

Also, one of the children's shows that i watch on TV is not Paw Patrol, but is Ranger Rob.

Also, i feel nervousness that i like to feel with men monster feet with sharp claws on the toes... and unbare men legs wearing stirrups but no shoes...

And i end hugging them all...

I also feel that nervousness with certain villians that... makes me imagine them do kung fu...

And i end dancing by them...

Those villians are the Nuts Goners...

Want to see them? It's here:

https://forum.yoyogames.com/index.php?threads/reboot-nuts-goners.50789/


(Please don't make any fun of me because of all this!)
This is what you should be telling to a psychotherapist, not to an online forum. This sounds to me like some form of unprocessed early childhood trauma.
 
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