Confession Thread

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Rivo, Mar 29, 2018.

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  1. Rivo

    Rivo 7014

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    Not sure if this has been done before.

    This thread is about confessing things that you've done and haven't told anyone/many people about before... They can be about anything, whether really bad or good. I just think It'd be interesting to see! And it might make you feel better?
     
  2. zendraw

    zendraw Member

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    i confess im inlove with @TsukaYuriko but shes playn hard to get and its gona be a struggle.
     
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  3. AnonyMouse

    AnonyMouse Member

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  4. Bingdom

    Bingdom Googledom

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    Awe man. Where's my love? :(
     
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  5. Flab

    Flab Member

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    I confess, I haven't used gamemaker much. Well, I've been almost using game maker, almost, for almost 2 weeks. I almost liked it. So I was thinking, I should make a single instance that contains everything relevant (which is external) and has like a function call to a dll or something where the actual game is?

    Edit:
    The other day, I drank Vipera Aspis. Totally for reelz. I also speak to bees. You wouldn't know it, but I'm not even human.
     
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  6. TsukaYuriko

    TsukaYuriko Q&A Spawn Camper Forum Staff Moderator

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    To quote my macro from the Collaborations forum...

    REJECTED ~Tsuk

    Also, I confess that I've been stalking people who are exhibiting certain behavioral patterns in the vain hope of finding out they're duplicate accounts of a certain cat that was in love with me. I guess I found one?
     
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  7. zendraw

    zendraw Member

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    me a duplicate? how dare you!
     
  8. Megax60

    Megax60 Member

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    I like to eat gay bees that uses pants
     
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  9. sitebender

    sitebender Member

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    I secretly wish I was your secret Santa!
     
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  10. Rivo

    Rivo 7014

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    I confess that I made a gay guy think I was interested in him at a club so he'd give me free drinks and introduce me to his girlfriends... Worked kinda well.
     
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  11. Flab

    Flab Member

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    I also confess that I may have had 5 cops in my room that one time and was court-ordered into a mental ward, where I faked drinking pills (this concept baffled some of the patients) and saw some of the weirdest things in my life (and I've seen some pretty weird things). I also learned to hate psychiatrists, there. Oh, and occasionally (quite often, I mean) my heart and earthquakes are related.

    Edit: Yeah, you figured I was maybe joking.
    [​IMG]

    Interesting usage of the questionmarks there. And they say I'm confused.
     
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  12. zendraw

    zendraw Member

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    doctors are morons for the most part. they only know how to deal with illnesess, and if there is none, they will make one.

    but on a serious note, Tsuki, is this by any chanse ur mental lover?
     
  13. Rivo

    Rivo 7014

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    Now this is what I call a good confession
     
  14. zendraw

    zendraw Member

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    i need to make another confession. im gay.
     
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  15. Barvix

    Barvix Member

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    I confess that my game is done but I'm selfish and a perfectionist and can't release it.
    April Fools :(

    For realsies I'm starting to hate gamedev. . . There is a reason why you're told not to do something like this for money, and make it a job. Because each day it gets dryer, staler, harder to keep going and work. And it keeps going until you either push through and work things out, or you stop. I've tried joining jams and stuff, and even those are unbearable to work on. Even the ones that seem fun and I love working on at the beginning. And then after a few hours or a day, I just stop. I can't do it anymore. And I don't know why. Maybe it's a sign of some serious issue like clinical depression (I wouldn't doubt that I have it) or maybe it's just me growing up. idk.
     
  16. Rivo

    Rivo 7014

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    Bro, I feel exactly the same way. Being stuck on a project for so long has gotten me so bored of game dev as a whole... I'm starting to lose my old love of game design, and I'm no where near as enthusiastic as I used to be :/
    I'll find a way, I always do :) Hope you do too!
     
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  17. zendraw

    zendraw Member

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    its becus ur still childish about it. u cling to the psychological affection that it gives u and u aways expect a reward in the end. and like a kid ur depressed if u dont get it. but that is not really a problem, the problem is there is a conflict in your head betwean what you expect and what others expect. so u get to the point where ur constantly, this has to be like this, that has to be like that bla bla bla.
    not long ago i wrote. Liberate your mind, or others will liberate it for you, and instead a king, you will deal with a predator. or somthing like that.

    yes im wise.
     
  18. TsukaYuriko

    TsukaYuriko Q&A Spawn Camper Forum Staff Moderator

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    For a moment I thought I got rid of you (well, you got rid of yourself), then I was reminded that I'm actually a guy.


    Dammit.
     
  19. zendraw

    zendraw Member

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    our romance will never end.
     
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  20. Flab

    Flab Member

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    I confess, I know people are dumb. I will describe an example and you can figure the rest out.

    You make a video right, so what you do is go to like some fastfood drivethrough thing. Then, to show what a clever reality altering good samaritan you are (you have to make the distinction between just a samaritan and a GOOD samaritan), you propose the idea of buying someone else's food at this particular chainstore. Your reasoning is as follows, "If I pay for that guy, then maybe he'll pay for someone else". Wonderfully elegant. Except horribly flawed. Imagine the "ideal" outcome, based on this reasoning. That guy pays for someone behind him, the guy behind him pays for someone behind him and so your enslaving mob mentality supports itself, oh right, and corporate whoring. Which btw, if nobody noticed, is the only "entity" that gains from said proposal. Almost as if that youtube video, you know the one, it looks like so "organic" and "philanthropicy", that one. That one, is probably a corporate ad, actually. But people are dumb.

    Human ingenuity. Because corporations are people.

    Edit:
    And google is probably family, your uncle intel.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2018
  21. rpsrosario

    rpsrosario Member

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    I confess I've had multiple accounts in the GMC. Never banned tho. Just stop using them / delete them because there might have been that one time I might have acted a bit not like I would have liked so I feel my image is tainted and I have to restart all over again. Then again I guess this applies to almost every part of my life... might be why I never finished a game... Hm....
     
  22. Flab

    Flab Member

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    I dropped everything I was doing to try and understand how to do this. Sure, I could resort to replacing every post I made with "...", which makes it seem really funny, since those are variable arguments. Like I'll change all of my posts, to that, usually. I've had to do that before because they wouldn't allow me to delete an account.

    So now, you have my attention. Please explain the proper procedure for deleting an account which involves me not having to tell everyone about it.
     
  23. rpsrosario

    rpsrosario Member

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    Exactly because of that do I simply resort to switching identities.... Although I think you could easily make a crawler that identified all your posts and edited them to just "..." or could try to ask a moderator for a complete account wipe / ban (if banning automatically deletes your content)?
     
  24. Flab

    Flab Member

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    That's okay, I already forgot my password anyway. I'll just reinstall the browser.
     
  25. RichHopefulComposer

    RichHopefulComposer Member

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    Wait another ten years. It gets way better. Hahaha. :'D

    My fat old person advice: stay in great shape and happy. Don't think you'll take care of yourself after your game is done, because your physical and mental health will deteriorate way faster than you think they will if you let them go. Then game dev will really really be hard.
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2018
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  26. Guest User

    Guest User Guest

    i confess that i've only seen a very small handful of games (like 2or 3) on here i actually wanted to play. :(

    which kind of makes me sad, because i wish i had more to nice things to say to devs in the WIP for encouragement and praise, but im just such a dullard that nothing catches my interest. U:
     
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  27. RichHopefulComposer

    RichHopefulComposer Member

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    I confess that I legitimately love almost every game on here, and that browsing the Sandbox for super crappy games used to be one of my favorite things ever. I love the "GameMaker"ness of these terrible hobby projects. The more esoteric/broken/weird they are, the better. I'll always resent YoYo for killing the sandbox. Me and my little bro (mostly my little bro - he's a hero) spent *hours* downloading hundreds of Sanbox games during the service's final days. This collection is now one of our greatest treasures, hahah! :'D

    There's just something so good about the weird crap people come up with when they have absolutely no clue what they're doing.

    I also genuinely think some of the projects here have potential, too, but I *really* love the janky, beautiful garbage complete amateurs come up with. Feels like a universe of potential in every game. Really cool to me!
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2018
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  28. zendraw

    zendraw Member

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    sounds like u play junk so u can feel good about urself. :D
     
  29. RichHopefulComposer

    RichHopefulComposer Member

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    No, I play junk because it's legitimately fascinating to me. I've been addicted to weird, broken games since I was a kid. :')

    You can find good, polished games anywhere. Broken terrible GM games remind me of when I was a little kid dreaming of making a big game someday. They're extremely nostalgic and interesting to me! =)

    And people who don't know anything about game design follow none of the rules that most games follow. You never know what the hell you're going to get with these kinds of games. The Sandbox was awesome.
     
  30. TsukaYuriko

    TsukaYuriko Q&A Spawn Camper Forum Staff Moderator

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    According to my experience...

    If you try to make something really ambitious compared to your skill level (but still fail horribly due to lack of knowledge or skill), the remains of it can still be somewhat inspiring. Often, it's the minds of newbies who don't yet care about the limitations of their own skill, and thus try to do things they can't really do yet, which produce the most original ideas, because the intention is to simply make a game according to how they envision it, disregarding any potential limitations or roadblocks. In this process, they value their creativity more than their capability. The core ideas often shine through despite the technical shortcomings.

    With experience comes the realization of one's own limits. It sometimes feels like this tends to narrow creativity down in favor of respecting one's capabilities. The end result is a game that technically works and fits within the constraints of what's expected of video games nowadays. However, in quite a lot of such "polished" games, I am unable to find that tiny drop of childhood dream-like personality some of the (technically) worst games I've played have had - the part that made them enjoyable despite them being utterly broken. Unlike such broken games, I rarely find anything that attempts to push the boundaries in polished titles anymore - a lot of recent AAA titles seemed like "more of the same" to me (*cough* New Super Mario Bros. series).

    Seeing that someone tried their best to make what they wanted to make and getting it to sort of work keeps bringing me back to that period when I was just starting out, becoming euphoric whenever I managed to make a new piece of code run without throwing errors.


    So... I confess that some of the features I implement in my games vaguely originate from crappy games made by overly ambitious teens.
    I also confess that I'm mentally one of them. :p
     
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  31. Guest User

    Guest User Guest

    ohhhh well i guess...i've never really felt anyone's games here were garbage, im just really picky about what i actually take the time to invest myself in as only a very niche combination of things make me happy.

    i clarify less as a random explanation to bother you with and more because i feel it would be terribly poor if someone interpreted my meaning to think their game was trash and felt down because of it. :(
     
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  32. RichHopefulComposer

    RichHopefulComposer Member

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    @hipstercapitalist: I said beautiful garbage. There's no shame in making something that would score a 1/10 from any honest reviewer when you're absolutely new at something (or ever, as long as you're trying). Almost every game here is a treasure. @TsukaYuriko gets it! =)
     
  33. NoobsWeStand

    NoobsWeStand Member

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    I'm the Globglogabgalab
    I love broken games
    And this sandbox is a true treasure trove
     
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  34. cidwel

    cidwel Member

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    I confess that I would love to make my GF enter into the gamedev scene (at least as a hobby) the same way I could make her start loving my kinks. Like making her to create relations between good feels and a bit of my kinks to normalize them and creating a relation to make her love them (no worries, i never did this anyway but think it could work)

    The sad fact is that I do not feel any possitive thing in gamedev apart of some personal satisfaction to introduce her on the scene. I would love to have her next to me in friday rainy days helping in my drawings and ideas. I want to change "netflix and chill" into "code and add bugs"

    bawwww

    Now I feel cops are going into my home
     
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  35. BiTrunade

    BiTrunade Member

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    I confess that I don't enjoy coding as I used before... It had became "different", or maybe "forced".
     
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  36. Barvix

    Barvix Member

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    Don't mind me I'm bringing back dead m̶e̶m̶e̶s̶ threads.

    I confess that I think I'm finally done with gamedev, and with Computer Science as my major. I have tried to get back into gamedev, but as you can see with many of my jam entries, or lack thereof, it hasn't been working out. I've even tried other ideas I've had to no avail. Maybe it's because I've finally grown tired of it, maybe it's something to do with depression*, or something to do with my severely worsening carpal tunnel. I don't know which it is, at this point the thought of programming just feels draining and almost physically taxing. It's a highly competitive field and and at the rate I'm going I might be useless in the field with my arm being basically dead after a few hours of work.
    I'm still willing to be a mentor so long as I can remember things, but opening Game Maker just hurts in a way that feels like a hollow sadness. Like it's a chore to open it, and when I do it's like looking at an old lover and wanting to be with them again, but know that things just won't work out like they used to.
    I don't know 100% what I want to change my major to, but I've got a few options. There's math, which my brother-in-law says I can use in a lot of places. Music, or more specifically - audio engineering or something close to it. As much time as I spend in hospitals these days and getting to know the ins and outs of them, I would do something health related, but because I know a lot the ins and outs of them and have seen some stuff, I don't think I could.

    idk, I know most of you won't really care about this stuff, but that's the current update on my life. Plus getting stuff like this off my chest makes me feel slightly better for when I disappoint really close family with this news. I'll still visit here, but mostly lurk and read what the people I am familiar with say, and check on updates to games.

    *depresion - insert edgy teenager filled with angst who feels moody for half a second and says he's depressed. Joking aside I've suspected for the past two years I may have depression or something along the lines of that, mostly to do with symptoms and my life in general. So I might not have it, but I haven't found the time or will to go see a doctor and talk to them about it, which is funny considering I basically live at hospitals lol. Honestly I've been afraid to see one incase I do actually have depression, and whatever happens after that.

    So yeah, until next time.
     
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  37. Niels

    Niels Member

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    I confess that when someone asked me what program I use to make games, I prefer to tell them I use Unity over GM...
    While I usually make most stuff in GM...

    Also I never actually finished a game because I'm so arrogant to "believe" I can make something nicer than a total amateur hobby game..
     
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  38. RichHopefulComposer

    RichHopefulComposer Member

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  39. zendraw

    zendraw Member

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    you can, its just not granted.
     
  40. chiyoko

    chiyoko Member

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    Although I act pretty confident irl, I must confess that im often times totally floundering under the guise of being under control. I struggle with a fear of growing up, my death and the future, and although ive been told it gets way, way easier, I cant really find much solace in something based on it being better "tomorrow".
     
  41. Niels

    Niels Member

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    Don't want to ruin it for you, but life won't get easier... It actually gets harder, it's just that you ge more experienced dealing with it
     
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  42. zendraw

    zendraw Member

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    from what i see some people dumb theyr intelligence in order to deal with life later on and they pretty much become mediocre and life gets very easy for them.
     
  43. Rivo

    Rivo 7014

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    It might be a be a burnout
    , if not I hope you get better bro x
     
  44. BiTrunade

    BiTrunade Member

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    It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
     
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  45. DanniBoy

    DanniBoy Member

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    I'm afraid of letting the people i love down. I also pee while sitting.
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2018
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  46. Misu

    Misu The forum's immigrant

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    Time to confess something ive been hiding for the past 2 months from now. I am officially quitting game deving and leaving the forum. These 8 years of being involved here and in social media was too depressing. Nothing really progressive has gone to my life and not much of bond with many users at all. Now my life centralize with my irl job and the people surrounding it. So far, that life is becoming better than being involved in the gmc or game maker a whole. It led to my conclusion that I must let go of something that doesnt contribute me or get along with me anymore - which is the forum and game maker. I wanted to stay at least for a few weeks to also be part of the jam but that led to lack of motivation. I dropped out of my game team and also removed several discord servers related to gm. So I guess its literally time for my departure. Hopefully Ill return one day when something really comes up since game maker to me was really a hobby and hobby might come back to my interest. But as far as I know, i no longer have the interest I used to have for gm. Anyway bye everyone.
     
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  47. Posh Indie

    Posh Indie Member

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    I am a forum transient, and as such you put way more time into the forums here than I ever did (I imagine). That said, if you need a GMC-related friend, feel free to add me on Twitter (I would reciprocate).

    Everyone loses motivation, but with the right surroundings who knows where you could go. I am still chasing the dream, maybe I can bring you back to it (If you actually even want that, that is).

    Anyway, hope everything goes well for you!
     
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  48. sitebender

    sitebender Member

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    But you are the best reviewer.
     
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  49. RichHopefulComposer

    RichHopefulComposer Member

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    I'll confess that every time someone quits the GMC I absorb their energy and become even more powerful. My ultimate goal is to leech everyone here's life force until the entire population of the GMC is gone. Then it'll just be me here, reigning over a dark kingdom inhabited solely by the skeletons and dried husks of defeated game developers, crafting the best game ever made using the souls of every GMCer who couldn't go on anymore and relented to their fate as blood-catalysts in my black rituals.



    ...I'm like a vampire, but for videogames. :'D
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2018
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  50. BiTrunade

    BiTrunade Member

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    Just like what @Misu said, it was mentally draining. I don't mean programming was that bad, after all I've developed my English and math skills and I got to admit it had changed the way I look into problems, making every solution possible.

    I recently started being ashamed of telling people that I am a programmer. I remember when I was 12 I was boasting about it, but now I've seen much "cooler" jobs/hobbies, whether it is seeing my little brother performing cool magic tricks (as a hobby), or seeing my older brother half way down in pharmacology college, it makes me want to pursue a better future for myself.

    Programming is a dead-end job (at least for me), I remember staying up late fixing a stupid bug, or waking up at 5:00 AM and sleeping at 2:00 AM creating an eCommerce website that died 3 months after its release, not because I didn't put too much effort on it but because it wasn't meant for me. I remember working for 3 days straight to finish a failed HTML5 game, sent them to publishers and got 21 rejection messages, did the same thing 3 times more and got 3 more 21 rejection messages.

    Then I decided to stop game development, I felt free, light-weighted, I finally have the time for myself, I can finally watch a movie or play a game without feeling guilty about it. I can finally not worry about hosting fees or not having enough money to develop anything. I found freedom. Giving up on programming was freedom.

    This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.
     
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2018
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