Ask a Robot for Advice or Humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by RujiK, Oct 2, 2019.

  1. RujiK

    RujiK Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2016
    Posts:
    167
    I strongly recommend: https://talktotransformer.com/

    You put in a snippet of text and an AI finishes a paragraph about whatever you wrote. It can be hilarious or actually pretty insightful.

    Some examples of mine: (Bold is my input text. Everything else is AI generated.)


    The most important thing for indie game developers to remember is to make games that people want to play. ... A quick Google search will help you determine what Steam-era "haves" and "have-nots" are. ... If a game is going to be niche, budget on creating an experience tailored to a target audience.

    The best game to make in "GameMaker Studio 2" would be 『Crimson Realm』. I believe it would have the most interesting gameplay and beautiful artworks. So we'll be working hard to make this dream of an anime come true.

    The key to a successful video game kickstarter is
    not to focus on one feature too aggressively. Instead, look at the goals as a whole rather than any particular feature.



    (Random funny ones)


    Florida man kills whale with marshmallow
    A Connecticut man has been charged with making death-dealing threats, after he allegedly threatened to kill a whale with a marshmallow — and then posted a YouTube video of the violent encounter.

    "I would like to see some dead whales up here," Richard B. Henson, 38, can be heard on a clip from an episode of the show Whale Wars … Henson then allegedly throws the marshmallow up at an apparent whale in the water. The video then cuts off.


    Three people were arrested for putting a monkey on a rabbits head in Central Park, New York.

    According to Gothamist, New York City officials were alerted after a number of people reported seeing a monkey on top of a rabbit after it jumped from the street into a nearby tree. A security guard attempted to separate the three people who were involved in the prank, but one took the monkey off the head of the rabbit and placed it on top of the monkey with a rope, then threw it through a car window.


    Try it! And post your best examples!
     
  2. Bearman_18

    Bearman_18 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2018
    Posts:
    173
    "nuts goner", said ethian. "I have a very hard time understanding what it's saying and I suspect they really don't, but it has been very difficult to figure out what it's supposed to be saying."

    Ethian says he had received numerous threats against his wife and children, and that when the site was still up, he tried to contact police from Australia to get them to help, because he was frightened for his life.

    But now his site has been shut down and his family does not know where they are.

    "I don't know how I will find my family – I can't find them, and nobody can find them, so I guess I will just keep looking," he said.

    The domain, called iheartthesun.com, has been taken over by domain-service company GoDaddy.

    "There has been no evidence of any criminal activity," a GoDaddy spokesman told the BBC.

    But the company still appears to be in the firing line of this week's cyberattacks, because hackers targeted it using Google's search engine

    Edit: So, yeah, this website writes pretty good SCP spoofs.
    Don't look at SCP-069, it's a robot that's been sitting out in the rain and is totally unresponsive. SCP-069-2: Hey! Can I have a beer? Dr. ████████: No, no, no, SCP-074 is in the same room as SCP-074-1. SCP-074 is responding well to the new beer and has a much higher chance of responding in the future. SCP-074-1: *sucking in air* *flashes a light on* What's with these robots? *sits up straight* Are they evil, or do they want my help? Dr. ████████: *laughs* Alright, alright. No one is coming to get you, let's just go home. *steps out of the elevator* Now you've got to watch this, okay? <End Log>
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2019
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  3. Dogwithswords

    Dogwithswords Member

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    Posts:
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    This took a rather... drastic turn.

    Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside-down and I'd like to take a minute just sitting right there and just talking about it as it's going to be the basis of our story down the road," said Rinaldi.

    This story is just starting out, but Rinaldi and the team of lawyers will spend the next few days on the air, and on their website, asking questions, doing discovery, and finding out how much damage had already been done. They'll be doing the same at the courthouse.

    "So we are going to be on the air very, very soon and we'll certainly start the process of asking questions as to what happened up there and what went wrong, and asking questions about what happened to the women, and, by the way, just so you get a sense of what this is all about it sounds like you have to register as a sex offender for a period of time; you have to register sex offender. I don't want to put it in the title, but this is where you sign it to
     
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  4. RujiK

    RujiK Member

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    Jun 21, 2016
    Posts:
    167
    This ones for you @Dogwithswords :

    In their natural habitat, dogs often use swords
    to kill mosquitoes, to stop them flying from trees to feed. In the past, many dogs, particularly pugs, used dogsleds to herd fish, but their training in water-borne warfare had been lost.
     
  5. Walky

    Walky Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2018
    Posts:
    90
    Mystery solved!

    "Explanation of my game's low sales, by H.P. Lovecraft, December 7, 1937 A week ago I put up two game deals in a row. One was for a game at £3.50, the other was for a game for £4.50. I wanted to see what the reaction to the low-price games would be, and I thought if I went to the people who were talking about the sale, I should hear about what was going on. So I wrote to a few people and asked if they knew something about me, and the people who responded were a bit surprised and worried when they got it from the post. So I wrote a full letter to me, which I put in the letter box. I've posted it here: I hope you are feeling much better now that the mystery of why this game sold so slowly has been fully resolved. But it certainly was a very depressing week.... I did think the first letter was a bit weird because I don't actually remember sending them anything, but they must have read the whole thing, so here we go. My name is H.P. Lovecraft, and my"
     
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  6. TsukaYuriko

    TsukaYuriko Q&A Spawn Camper Forum Staff Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2016
    Posts:
    1,626
    Out of curiosity, I tried what would happen if I feed it the same starting line over and over. Does it always generate the same thing when fed with the same input? Does it create permutations that slightly resemble previous iterations? Is it basically random? It turns out that it does follow and, at least to a certain extent, seems to understand the context of the input. It never gave me identical results, and I couldn't spot any direct parallels between iterations.

    Some examples:

    This is a story about a man named Stanley. A very talented artist who died after his body was found in the desert near Palm Springs. Now a film crew is looking for his story in the film Desert Warrior, an upcoming feature film that's slated to premiere during the Cannes Festival this January. (...) (He died after his body was found??)

    This is a story about a man named Stanley. He is from Toronto. He's a small, nervous fellow who always wears a smile. But you have seen him smile all his life. It was on that day, when he discovered how to talk about his life, that he felt something in him spring up to life. The voice. (...)

    This is a story about a man named Stanley. He is an old man, and yet he is a man of the future. He is not old; rather, he's living in a different world. He's an author, a futurist, having the future of his world come to pass. (...)

    This is a story about a man named Stanley. (Actually, he and I share the same name but have different last names.) I've written a few blog posts about him, because I'm going to use this video story as the model for a new short film. (...)

    (Seems a bit like a character generator on steroids... I'm sure I could find a practical use for this.)

    This went on for a while, but I, uh... stopped after this one.
    This is a story about a man named Stanley. Stanley, like most people who are gay, wants *censored engagement of an arguably fun activity*. This is his life. But Stanley is a guy. And a guy who likes to use *censored engagement of an arguably fun activity* for *censored positive feelings*. Stanley wants to have *censored engagement of an arguably fun activity*. Stanley doesn't want to be with anyone unless he wants it bad, but, then, he doesn't want to put himself through that pain.

    Stanley is a guy from the same suburb. As it happens, he's dating a woman who isn't the same as he is. He's not the same size, he doesn't dress like the same person, he doesn't have the same skin color, neither does he have the same features, not even the same face. But he also hasn't done anything so horrendous that Stanley was forced out of his childhood home.

    "Hey, Stanley. I'm just gonna tell you that, like, the other guy in your apartment with you tonight, uh, uh, well I don't know if he'll want to talk to you, but, if he does, uh, I don't wanna talk to you
    That's enough internet for me for today... :confused:
     
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  7. BattleRifle BR55

    BattleRifle BR55 Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2016
    Posts:
    969
    I was really upset with my girlfriend last night, so for kicks, I decided to test this sentence.


    I am going to break up with Samantha.
    Please stay together and stay safe." She said, her voice rising as she spoke, her heart racing. "I love you too much." Samantha told her. Her voice was shaking.

    "I love you, too." Emma said, her heart beating in her chest. Emma looked around at the other girls and decided to tell the truth. She looked at Samantha, the other girls, her mother, her friends. She didn't know if she could feel it in her chest. She just knew that she loved them. I just had to tell her. "I love you too, Samantha." She said loudly as she stood up, holding her bag tightly. "I love you, too."

    "I love you, too." Samantha whispered, as she looked at Emma. She looked at every one of them. "I just want you to know that I love you too." She said.

    The last thing Emma knew was that her phone was ringing. She looked up and found that the caller ID read 'Emma Smith' and her face was red
     
  8. Bearman_18

    Bearman_18 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2018
    Posts:
    173
    @BattleRifle BR55 Lesbian horror story? Actually, this thing is quite fond of making subtle horror...

    Im doing homework at the library. I'm studying the difference between human and machine learning. I get a few questions about the latest hype. And then a few more. "You do the right thing, do the nice thing, do the right thing". I'm not impressed. I'm curious, I don't want to be lectured. I'll do my homework.

    Finally, the afternoon comes, I finish my homework and I turn around, they'll never let me out.

    I'm not satisfied. They told me I couldn't be left in a classroom by myself when I was supposed to be getting some good work done.

    This is when my frustration kicks in, I want out. Not like a child, I want to leave. I'm too young, I'm just too busy. But this morning, I see a picture with the words 'I want out'. I think 'What could I say?'

    I'm done.

    I sit in my car crying.

    I've been through a lot in the past 24 hours, and a few days earlier


    (This is a weird/creepy one. Is the main character in their car, a classroom, or what? Who won't let them out? Why is there a picture with their thoughts written on it?)
    Also, I generated one without inputting any text. Here's the funny part.


    So, here we go, the actual process of making money to buy stuff.

    Step 1: Get your own wallet
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2019
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  9. IndianaBones

    IndianaBones Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2016
    Posts:
    2,207
    Haha, this is quite interesting...here's what I tried:

    It was a dark and stormy night.
    The moon was high in the sky, it was raining. The streets were empty. The sound of the rain was muffled by the fog. The only thing you could hear were the occasional screams. A young woman stood in the rain. "What do you want?" "I can tell you two things," said the woman, "One, you don't need to stay out all night. You should go home. And two, when you're dead I will take your baby." The woman was a witch named Marj. Marj was a huge woman with a silver-white beard, which was not as thick as a dog's and she wore an old robe like black silk. She did not move very much, so her face was never seen. Her voice sounded like a low whistle that always sounded as though it was coming from a faraway place. When she spoke, the words were as though they were coming out of some strange language. "Do you know who your father is?" the woman whispered. "Who?" one of the men yelled. "Mother," responded

    The space monster opened its eyes slowly, and then sat upright in a sitting position. "If you're so afraid of me, why didn't you try contacting Mother before?" the Space God said in a deep voice. "Then you would know my power better."

    Mu Ru Yue had always held it deep belief. She didn't really want to talk. She just wanted to leave.

    But the Space God wouldn't be merciful. "If you keep acting like that, I will take your life and send it back to Earth with a single glance."

    Mu Ru Yue was stunned. She only thought that she was scared of the Space God, but was actually not so. But she couldn't help but be scared by the Space God, who now took the entire continent by storm…

    The space monster's voice suddenly stopped.

    Mu Ru Yue had no idea how to deal with this situation at all. She just stared blankly.

    The Space God smiled as if seeing her for the first time, "What's really happened?"

    "What…?" Mu Ru Yue turned
     
  10. Desert Dog

    Desert Dog Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2019
    Posts:
    32
    Got curious, and wondered if I entered some kind of current affairs/political topic. After all, these ML things are meant to replace journalists next minute.

    The Hong Kong protests are not just about a few people – it is a movement about a much bigger issue," said Alex Chow, chief executive of the Centre for a New World, an education think tank. "The Chinese Communist Party is making a huge and terrible mistake, in trying to push Hong Kong citizens to support a movement that only targets the one percent of people."

    Beijing has been stung since its 2007 handover of power to former British colony rule, with anger toward those seen as interfering with its political control of the city. The Occupy Movement has been one focus of this, with protesters opposing what they accuse of unfair economic advantages for the "1%" – the 1.4 million Chinese residents living here, an elite group of about 5 million or so who make up almost 30% of the population.

    Demonstrations have spread to many other areas, including universities and the financial district.

    In Beijing, demonstrators waved Chinese flags and chanted slogans, including "Our voice is stronger than you," as the crowds filled the streets on Friday.



    The Hong Kong protests are a manifestation of growing disillusionment with politics as usual in Asia, a new kind of protest that's growing in scale and frequency without leading to major change. The most obvious expression is the student movement in the city, led by the Communist Party of China and its Hong Kong-based youth wing, the Democratic Party of Hong Kong (DPH), who are demanding a genuine electoral reform and greater political freedoms. The political reforms being discussed involve a greater focus by the government on the civil society, especially NGOs, and a complete overhaul of the electoral system.

    Many Hong Kongers think that Hong Kong's top priority should be improving living standards, but these protests have exposed what's really at stake. The protests are about something much more complicated; these people are expressing anger at the corruption and cronyism of Beijing, and fear that Hong Kong might lose its democratic status.

    A new movement: Occupy Central?

    Occupy Central, as it's called in Hong Kong, has been a series of protests and marches by student-led student groups. It began in a
     
  11. Bearman_18

    Bearman_18 Member

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    @Desert Dog, dadgum, that's better than most human journalism.
     
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  12. ParodyKnaveBob

    ParodyKnaveBob The Laughing Rogue

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2016
    Posts:
    537
    Once upon a midnight dreary while I pondered weak and weary
    Under the spreading noonday gloom,
    When the train came bounding by,
    From far on the other side the stream
    Shouted out across the hills;
    Till at length, through the thicket on the right
    Of the road, I beheld the line of cars
    Beneath me. Then I knew it was all a dream:
    A traveller in a dream,
    And a stranger in a strange land.
    That I awoke from my slumber,
    On the morrow, I found the land of the living
    Alone with me, all the days of May gone
    By; and from every window I lay,
    A ghostly ghost of the bright day
    Of the year gone by.
    All my house I lived in,
    My garden and meadows,
    The sun setting upon them,
    Aye there was but little to do in the world
    But look and look till I died.

    $:^ }
     
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  13. Nocturne

    Nocturne Friendly Tyrant Forum Staff Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2016
    Posts:
    6,896
    Interesting.... tried it with a line from one of my all time favourite poems "The Ballad of Reading Gaol":

    "Each man kills the thing he loves
    And all things in the land are eaten
    In the same breath, as you live and die.
    Hence, we are born. We learn, we grow up.
    We grow old and die for our love.
    We learn that we must leave our loves behind.
    Therefore the word we use now to love is not "love."
    It means being alive, knowing, living.
    For us the word "love" does not signify "love of children."
    It means life, awareness, understanding.
    It means loving things as we are here
    And loving things as far as we are not
    and loving things with our own hands.
    It means understanding, knowing, loving, being alive: living for love.
    And it means living for yourself. "Living for our own lives,"
    means loving what belongs to neither of us.
    If we truly see each other as we are,
    and if we only understand one another with our hearts,
    then we will..."



    We will WHAT?????? Dammit I want to know! I feel like it was THIS close to giving me the meaning of life, the universe and everything.... :(


    Next, let's see what it makes of a rather iconic song lyric...

    "Mama, I just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he's dead. Mama, I just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he's dead. Baby, you got to help yourself to the food. It's already here. It's got a new label on it. It's got a new label on it. You put it on me. I just ate the sandwich. You put it on me. I just ate the sandwich. You put it on me. I just ate the sandwich. You put it on me. I just ate the sandwich.

    The next thing you know, I just hit him, baby. I just hit him, baby. I got a gun against his head, put it against his head, now he's dead. Baby, you got to help yourself to the food. It's already here. It's got a new label on it. It's got a new label on it. You put it on me. I just ate the sandwich. You put it on me. I just ate the sandwich. You put it on me. I just ate the sandwich."

    I JUST ATE THE SANDWICH, BABY!

    :banana:
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2019
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  14. Bearman_18

    Bearman_18 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2018
    Posts:
    173
    This thing should be renamed to "Pseudo Wisdom Generator".
     
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  15. HeWhoShallNotBeNamed

    HeWhoShallNotBeNamed Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2018
    Posts:
    65
    I decided to plug in some famous game quotes to see what happened. Some of these took a turn.

    This guy are sick! This is sick!"

    "He will not be able to walk and get away! We will do the same."

    "Damn." Ye Zichen was not satisfied with just one person. His mind flashed.

    "He's going to die! If I'm not here, then what will he do?" Ye Zichen looked around and asked curiously.

    Zhonghai looked at him, his eyes filled with concern. "Do you want to get killed right away? What are you talking about?"

    "Hmph! You know my situation better than anyone!" Ye Zichen chuckled and looked at the person beside him. "What if this guy's not lucky and he dies?"

    "You wouldn't die, would you?"

    Ye Zichen laughed, then his smile was a little more serious. "Let my body be yours! I, Ye Zichen, will never be someone your father can kill."

    Zhonghai was so shocked that he lost his appetite for half a second, so he quickly turned and

    I used to be an adventurer like you, I lived so far from home and worked hard so you can do this too, right?"

    I was at a loss for words.

    At that moment, a woman ran into the room from the stairs.

    She had long blond hair and a light face like a loli. She was clad in white, and her white dress was a masterpiece by the standards of the elves.

    Although she was a little frail, the woman did not seem to be at all old. She was about forty, which meant she was young when it came to the elves.

    I felt a little uncomfortable to meet her, but I was not at all surprised to see her again.

    I greeted her cheerfully and said:"Good morning to you."

    She was the new maid. She had never come in my dreams.

    "Good morning. I come from the upper floors, where there is no maid. I wonder if you are the new one?"

    "Yes. Good morning to you."

    While I was relieved at seeing

    Do you even have a plan, Dutch? Why can't you do something about it? Why can't you change your ways once and for all? What's stopping you? What's holding you back? Is it your pride in what you have done that keeps you from changing your ways, or is it your fear of being judged by people who love you and think that you deserve better than this?"


    "I was born into a culture that does this to people, and I can't change it," he told us. "I want to do what I'm supposed to do, but I can't. What if I've made a mistake, and I'm going to be the one that does that? What if I'm an example to other girls in every way but the right way?"

    "This is the first time in my life that I've felt so betrayed by my friends," he added. "Why can't I get out in front of it?"

    He didn't have to. The video is now the most watched, highest-rated "Fifty Shades" video ever.

    Silver for monsters. Steel for men. Silver for soldiers. Steel for the people who fight for their country.


    I ask these to be engraved with your name and this emblem as a tribute. These will be engraved with an icon of your choice. They will be displayed and worn with pride by you and your family.


    My other requests will be kept to a minimum, except the icons of my favorites; for the men who fight for America, and also the soldiers who defend it.


    "The Great American Revolution is a glorious thing--we are proud of it. The American people are at peace. The whole country is ready to go to war again in the name of our freedom. But the Great American Revolution will do us the good of saving the country from those who wish to destroy it." - Abraham Lincoln (1762 - 1865)


    As a gift, I also request that you pledge $13 for the book of the same name. This would be printed in full color and the price is $18.


    Thank you for considering this as a gift for a dear friend or family

    Yeah, okay...
     
  16. Dogwithswords

    Dogwithswords Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2016
    Posts:
    44
    As a Shiba-Inu, I am honored you would include my species in your response! :D
     
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  17. Gamebot

    Gamebot Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2016
    Posts:
    182
    Not bad....

    The hallway was silent
    . The silence was just about as complete as possible. All of a sudden, everything seemed to freeze, as though an invisible door was suddenly shut and sealed.

    There was a soft creak. Everything seemed to slow down.

    Suddenly, I was standing in my living room. Before me lay nothing but darkness. It was as though this room had been completely left to its own devices.

    My eyes adjusted. For a moment, I was shocked. The dark was not as it was. In fact, the gloom around me grew deeper. I was standing in the middle of my living room, looking out a large window. The window was tall, and it stretched across the entire house. Above me, the sun was a brilliant orange-red.

    "Are the curtains still closed? Do you know if any family members are here?" A voice came from outside.

    My heart began to skip a beat. I stepped out the window and slowly walked back home. I couldn't find anyone outside. If somebody knew where I was, I would...
     

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